I’m in my own world driving down the street. The day is nice, and on the Old School radio station in my city they play “Thin Line Between Love and Hate” by The Persuaders. Immediately I sing along in a falsetto that you couldn’t rival in your dreams.   I glance to my left and get the “crazy” stare from a beautiful lady, her toddler, and her dog. I was into it too much. As I gathered myself and listened to the song I realized something. There’s a thin line between business Networking and NOTWorking.

I want to take the time to give you some keys pointers on how to connect in climates that allow you to network but people may not be in a networking state of mind. This is the silent assassin to building successful relationships: you’re “networking” your mark while they’re “not working.” I could have added a spot for building at “business networking events” but everyone there is in that frame of mind already. If you ever want to get to befriend power players, don’t always try to when their power suits are neatly pressed, cuff links are perfectly in place, and their hi-beams are on. Use those times when neckties are loosened and hair is let down to bust open the doors. I hear these questions all the time; Rob, can you tell me…

Can I try business Networking at a social event?

The Key word here is Social. Most people don’t come to social events to do or even talk about business.The best thing to do is make regular conversation the way you would in any social setting and try to make a FRIEND! “All things being equal people want to do business with friends. All things being not so equal, people STILL want to do business with their friends.” – Jeffrey Gitomer

Remember when talking in this setting to ask questions using the Power of F.O.R.M.: Family, Occupation, Recreation and Motivation. Don’t just ask them about what they do! Most people are trying to get away from work so don’t bring it to a social event. That’s like trying to talk Happy Meals with a McDonald’s manager at a nightclub. Find out what they like doing in their free time or maybe what is a trip they want to take this year.

In my experience I have found the highest-level people carry no cards. So what does that mean? Don’t offer yours… Take their cell number or email down and immediately connect with them on all the social media networks after you get home.

How-to-Network Power Play: Don’t drink too many drinks if you are still trying to “network.”

How do I Network with a Coworker?

If you’ve ever read the book Acres of Diamonds by Russell Conwell, then you know that some of the finest gemstones are in your own backyard. In any business environment, most people only know their coworkers superficially and don’t take the time to get to know them on an intellectual basis. Try taking fifteen minutes a day and get to know someone at work a little bit better. If you find something in common– similar high school, hometown, or childhood activity your depth of connection will immediately go up 1,000 percent. If you only network with one person a week, next year you’ll have fifty new connections, which you have something in common with!

Also, never think that there are certain levels of employees that you should only build co-worker connections with. Never look down on the mail clerk or janitor, you never know who they may find favor with within the company.   Always remember that some of your most important connections come in the most mysterious ways. You could be talking to a mail clerk that is the son/daughter of the company VP. They may run that company one day and you established that important connection before everyone else. On the flip side maybe you have a side passion like music. Your connection to a co-worker could lead you to a famous producer. It happens.

How-to-Network Power Play: Connect with your fellow co-workers on Facebook so you can get to know their personal and family side.

How do I network with INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE?

The big fish, everybody dreams of saying they’ve networked with (insert your dream connection.) Connecting with big wigs are one of the best things you can do to build momentum in your business. What celebrities, athletes, and business power players carry with them is influence. People are most likely to follow people that are influential and have a great track record.

Here are 3 important things to remember:

1. They put their pants on the same way as you! My mentor told me to never look up to anybody of influence… he said you look at them straight in the eye. They are no different then you.

How-to-Network Power Play: Stop acting like they are a foreign creature! The influential person will notice and appreciate this also. That’s how you will stand out to them.

2. When you meet influential people for the first time, you better have something powerful to ask or something powerful to say or you will have blown the opportunity. Read down this blog to find 8 powerful questions. Remember to go slow and have something for them that they perceive to be valuable! In my experience, I found out the slower you go the more likely you are to maintain a great connection.

3. Have a way to add value after the meeting. During the conversation you should have at least 3 ways to add value to what this influential person does! Reference my book for the many other ways to become Remarkable instead of invisible. How can I help you… and with no motive is one of the best ways to not only to make a connection but keep it!

Always remember this! People can smell “What’s In It For Me” like bad cologne on an Italian wise guy so try not to network while wearing this fragrance. The next thing for you to do is go, connect, and build! ]]> http://www.connectionaire.com/2010/05/networking-and-not-working-the-only-difference-is-one-letter/feed/ 5 http://www.connectionaire.com/2009/11/so-what-do-i-say-8-secrets-to-break-the-ice-in-any-socialbusiness-setting/ http://www.connectionaire.com/2009/11/so-what-do-i-say-8-secrets-to-break-the-ice-in-any-socialbusiness-setting/#comments Sun, 29 Nov 2009 03:36:05 +0000 RobCoats http://www.connectionaire.com/?p=172

“Leap and the net will appear. There will be a thousand unseen bands waiting just for you.” –Joseph Campbell

I was recently cutting the hair of a friend who is a sophomore in college at Ohio State University and he was very troubled about networking. Now here’s a guy that had made over $100k at the age of 16 by doing computer consulting for companies, so by no means does he lack intelligence. His challenge, however, was his social skills. He told me that he didn’t feel like he had interpersonal skills because he was either on the computer 8 hours a day, or studying for the 23 credit hours that he was taking this semester. He told me he found it hard to keep conversations going past the “Hi my name is ____ and I’m a student at Ohio State” point.

 His dilemma is very common for most people in society today but is very simple to master. If you want to become effective with communication just master the art of asking the right questions.

 The best opening questions are those that encourage people to speak about themselves, or their work, passions, family, or experiences. Remember people love talking about themselves. Making the conversation about them in the very beginning lets you see what kind of person they are and also can help you to find some common ground

 Here are 8 great questions to build rapport in social or business settings:

• As the owner of a business, what do you find to be the two or three greatest challenges you face?
• How do you relieve the stress of your work?
• How did you get into your line of work?
• Who are your role models?
• When did you decide on this career path?
• How has your year been?
• What is your goal for next year?
• Where would you most like to live and work?

 So with this being said if want to know how to keep the conversation flowing MEMORIZE these questions. Don’t just glance at these and take notes but make it a conscious decision to know these like you know the back of your hand. I guarantee these will get you past the quiet awkward moments. Lastly, remember to be “Yourself.” You never know if the person on the other end has had (or is having) the very same conflicts you have!

 Please comment, tweet or digg this if you got something out of this! Thank you!