I need to be honest with you. Rob Coats wasn’t always the so-called Connectionaire. At best, I was a “financiaholic” (dubbed by my intern).

At 21, like many college students, I wasn’t focused on getting a degree and getting a good paying job. I was focused on breaking the statistic of being a “broke college student”.

I started off with a talent I learned at 12 years old- cutting hair. It took, like anything, 3 years to build a clientele. I was making almost $150/day cutting hair. I had almost no expenses. A high-school connection led me into a direct-sales marketing phenomena. I went from earning great money cutting hair to an impressive $5,000/month while still remaining on Wright State’s dean list.

One day, while talking to my professor about my businesses, he asked what I was doing still in school. He pointed out: “You are one of those people that will be successful with or without college.”

His affirmation of what I had already been thinking led me to my decision. I finished out that semester, and withdrew from the University. Now that my attention was solely on direct-sales, my income increased, some months topping $15,000. By 23 I was making well over 6 figures.

The chase for money cost me many relationships; life-long friends and family. Like many business ventures, the company downsized and my paycheck soon followed. Now I was out an elaborate lifestyle, and a support system.

I moved back into “the low-level suite” (my parent’s basement), and took 6-8 months to focus on the internal rather than the external: I reflected, read, and studied. I needed to overcome this defeat, as well as better prepare myself for life’s next hurdle. This time, I was going to be prepared. And, I was going to chase after my passion, not my paycheck.

My next attempt was in Real Estate. Although I had been conquered before, I did not give up on my passion for self-employment. Through real estate I built connectionships/relationships with many people and re-sparked my love of connecting. I began things like philanthropy projects that were of no monetary benefit, but more importantly, helped others in need.

Realizing that not everyone shares the people-skills I have, I began nationwide networking events to teach/train people how to affectively connect and build life-long relationships, as opposed to short-transactional relationships. I’ve even authored a book, Connect and Grow Rich, out December 1, that is a how-to guide on growing wealth by connecting, both in person and online.

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“I owe yous” are non-existent in the world of networking. Stop watching out for yourself and start looking out for your connections. It’s a long and lonely career life when you’re only focused on yourself. Don’t keep tally of who owes.

50/50 is not a winning proposition. A relationship does not need to be entirely mutual. There are going to be those you mentor and those that mentor you. Satisfaction should be found in helping others achieve their goals. When someone helps you out, don’t feel like you’re indebted. They did it out of the goodness of their hearts. Remember this kind gesture and “pay it forward”. If we all use our Connectionaire skills and help each other out, we’ll build a strong business empire simultaneously.

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Don’t treat people like a transaction. It’s just that simple. Turn off WIIFM (What’s in it for me) and turn on “what can I do for you”. By helping people and adding value to their life, their business, their connections, you build a rapport.

Be different, be engaging, ask people about their passion, ask them how you can help them with this.

Isn’t it scary that no matter how much knowledge you hold in that noggin’ of yours and how much credibility you can muster, it can all be torn down by those you ASSOCIATE with. A Connectionaire is always aware of who they are surrounded by. If you’re questioning whether or not your relationship with someone could be hurting you, ask yourself these questions:

• Do our values/ethics aline?
• Would I recommend this person to a colleague?
• Is this a mutual relationship?
• Do you counsel/encourage each other in goals and aspirations?
• Would you introduce this person to others you are doing business with?
• Would you vouch for them?

The Value of Connecting,
whether you’re looking for a job or not, is important. Why does it matter?

According to the New York firm BH Careers International, 80% of all available jobs don’t make it to job boards or the classifieds. Landing a position, therefore, is far more likely to be accomplished through word-of-mouth. That means who you know and who knows you are paramount to your career.

Whether you are content in your current job, actively looking elsewhere, have not had a job in years, or are working on getting your very first position, networking is important. You never know when you will need to call on your contacts, or when they may have a lead on an exciting new opportunity.

The Round-the-Clock Approach
True or False:

If you already have a job, there’s no need to connect.
Connecting is only done at formal business get togethers.
You can’t connect successfully if you’ve never had a job or haven’t worked for awhile.

The answer to all these questions is “false.” You should always be connecting, no matter what your current job status. If you think of every place you go as an opportunity to meet people, whether it’s for business or pleasure, you will expand your connectionship seamlessly and have resources to tap when it’s time to make your move. Your current job status doesn’t matter.

Contacting former colleagues, friends, and family and arranging face-to-face meetings may be the core of networking. But so are the serendipitous contacts you make standing in line for stamps, mingling at a tenants or neighborhood meeting, or striking up a conversation with the person at a fundraiser or on the next treadmill in the gym.

What Makes A Successful Connectionaire?
It’s true that the longer you’ve been in the work world, the more people you can call on. But even if you haven’t worked for years, you probably already know a lot of people through informal network-community book clubs, faith-based groups, walking groups, and children, for instance. Having multiple networks exponentially increases your professional opportunities.

It’s how you network that will determine your effectiveness. HR experts and savvy connectionaires offer this advice:

Be prepared. Rehearse what is known as an “elevator speech,” a 30 second summary of what you currently do and what you’d like to do professionally to use in social and business situations. Say it in a way that will make someone want to pursue the conversation. For example, instead of, “I’m a freelance magazine writer trying to branch out into corporate communications,” try, “I just finished a national magazine story about a group in their 70s, 80s and 90s who sing rock ‘n roll and tour Europe.” If you’re not currently working, you could say, “I recently helped raise $50,000 at my son’s school to start an art program and I’m hoping to find a job in business development,” or “I volunteer at the local hospital with preemies and am thinking of pursuing a job in child development.”

Always have business cards with you and an up-to-date resume you can send off upon request. At the very least, business cards should contain your name, address, telephone number, and e-mail.

Make a list. Consider current and former colleagues, competitors, classmates, parents of your childrens’ friends, your spouse’s and your parents’ friends and business associates, neighbors, relatives, acquaintances from professional associations, organizations, religious or community groups, or bridge or golf buddies. When appropriate, tell them you are job hunting and ask if they can recommend a couple of people for you to contact.

Fill in the gaps and be visible. What’s missing? Reconnect with old friends (high school and college reunions) and former colleagues. Sign up on alumni websites. Join trade organizations and boards. Volunteer on committees to meet members. Circulate!

Follow up promptly. After you’ve met someone knowledgeable and interesting, send a quick e-mail or a handwritten note. Say that you enjoyed meeting them and mention something you discussed to jog their memory. (”It was fun talking about….”) Tell them you want to learn more about how their company hires financial analysts, for example, and offer to take them for coffee or lunch. Let them know you will follow up in a week or so.

IMPORTANT!!!!
Stay in touch. The best time to be in contact is when you don’t need anything. The point is to build a rapport so that when you do need a favor, it feels comfortable to ask. Then, every few months, send an e-mail or call to say hello. Let them know there is no agenda. When you read an article you think might interest them, send it off with a short note. Your job is to keep your name at the top of their list should they hear of an opening.

Ask for advice, not a job. You risk turning off potential contacts if you hit them up outright, so seek their counsel instead. (If there’s an appropriate job, they will bring it up.) Draw them out about their business experience. Explain your skills, the kind of position you seek, and then solicit suggestions.

Be grateful. A thank you note to everyone who helps you is a must, whether it is handwritten or an e-mail. Keep contacts appraised of how their referrals pan out.

Offer to return the favor. Be generous with your contacts so there is give and take. Make introductions when you think it will benefit prospects, and let them know you want to reciprocate their kindness.

Create your own connectionships. Get together once a month with five or six people you respect to learn more about their work. Actively trade leads.

Be patient. Meeting someone once rarely leads to a job. Connecting requires time and effort to cultivate and nurture relationships.

If you’ve made it this far don’t STOP! Please Leave me a comment! Thank You

So your going to a connecting function that you have never been to before (or maybe even one you have) determined to crack the connection code and start building priceless business relationships. Here are five proven strategies for making contact at connection events.

1. Go it alone. When attending connection functions, go by yourself or at least communicate to your carpool buddies that you should all fan out. Moving about an event solo encourages people to approach you and makes it easy to mingle and initiate conversations. It may be more comfortable to have a friend right there with you, but remember: you are there to grow your network, not hang with the people already in your network.

2. Study the tags. If name tags are pre-printed and on display at the registration table, scan the tags of the other attendees to see what opportunities await you. Here’s something, though I have not tried this myself, Rachel Wood, a top financial advisor in the Boston area who introduced herself to me after one of my CODE Crackers Networking seminars, does something pretty neato. If she spots a name tag on the registration table of someone she would like to meet, she asks the people manning the table if she can clip a note to their tag saying she would like to meet them. She swears by it.

3. Circle and scan. Before diving into the event, try circling the room and checking out the name tags for people or companies you definitely want to make contact with while there.

4. Look for people standing alone. These folks may be nervous, and your initiative will often endear you to them. Plus, one-on-one connecting is the best connecting.

5. Sit between people you do not know well. If the event is a sit-down affair, do not sit by a friend or business associate. You already know that person! Plan who you want to sit by, but wait until the last minute to actually sit down so you can keep making new contacts.

Share how you’ve stood out at a networking event in the comment box below.

It’s 9:00 pm on a Sunday night. I’m just leaving a Spoken word poetry event at the King Arts complex. I’m in my car which happens to have rims and a tint on, but it’s unfortunate because I’m in a side of town that says if your young, and have a flashy car you have to be pulled over. I’m driving the speed limit still in my suit looking like a million bucks when I see Red and Blue Lights flashing.

Officer -”Sir I need to see your license.”

Uhh Ok…

“Do you want my insurance and registration?”

I say Officer- “Nope”.

The next words I hear are step out of the car.

But “what did I do?”

“Your license plate light is out!”

Ohhhhh Really I say to myself. Next thing I know I’m in handcuffs in the back of the car. About 30 minutes later I’m let go with a ticket.

As I’m riding back I’m feeling sad… Not helpless but still frustrated because It’s not too much I can do. I get home I’m thinking to myself “man I can’t wait to be a fricking Billionaire so things like this will never happen” is my intentions. Only if I knew the right people or even cop things would have been much easier. Not even 2 minutes after I say that I have a message in my inbox that says “Call me and here’s my number”. I call and to my astonishment I have a friend I went to high school with that is now a cop. He tells me that the cop who just arrested him calls him and ask if he knows me because in the text of our conversation I mention that I went to wright state. The guy who I went to high school with tells him yea Rob Coats! “He’s cool, real clean cut brotha.” The cop then says he was pretty cool and then tells him he wants to change it to a code 2 which is just a warning but can’t because he just got in trouble for it.

Now if that’s not the law of attraction I don’t know what is! I was frustrated at the situation but now just thinking about it I’m grateful because not only do I have a friend who is a cop but if something in the future happens I have his cell and all I have to do is mention that I know him and I’m good!! That’s crazy! I knew connecting and networking was important but now I feel like I just went to a revival because I’m even more excited to help my friend who is a cop get a house because he’s been renting. They say everything happens for a reason and that couldn’t be anymore true then what just took place tonight. My advice: Always keep a good name and treat people right because you never know when or where you will need that person or when your character will be questioned…

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It seems so simple but I’m still not convinced that most people understand the power of this statement. How many times have you heard someone say “I don’t care”?

I have a nephew who just turned 16 years old and it seems like this is his favorite thing to say to his mother, grand parents, or any other adult that you would think respect would automatically be given.

The second day at his new high school he got suspended for fighting another young boy because he didn’t like the way he was looking at him. When his principal asked him how he thought his recent performance would affect his grades, he looked away, shrugged his shoulders and said boldly, “I don’t care!” Whenever he’s getting in trouble (which seems like every second of the day) his response to everybody but his friends or myself is “I DON’T CARE!”

When I picked him up from school that day, I said “Tyler, what’s going on? Tell me your side of the story and what really happened.” Now most people upon hearing this news would have immediately began with a lengthy discourse and started the punishment process, but I decided to take different approach because I know there is always two sides to every story. He readily started to open up about the civil conflict and finish every line with “You feel me bro?” Now why do you think his response to me, his uncle, was different then that of most other adults? Because I seeked first to understand then, to be understood. I listened to what he cared about first and followed with, “I can understand where your coming from and I can see how that would make you feel.” Once he knew that I CARED about him, that opened the door to allow him to be receptive of new information as to how this conflict could have been avoided and not just take my advice as a grain of salt. Because we have developed this bond, his response is usually,”Yea.. Your right. I’ll think before I act the next time.”

Now if this statement (People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care) is true how can you apply this to your networkmarketing business? When your introduced to a Multi Level Marketing company and your sitting there at the presentation or your giving one to a person, they have to know that you care about them? That your achieving there goals more than you just getting a commission check. That you want to help them move from the mindset of I wish I could do, to, I know I can.

In addition to helping people change their psychological process to the positive, it is still the duty of every networker to know clearly your inventory, your product, the mechanics and possess the negotiating skills to be a success in network marketing. Most importantly, without a genuine love for people… you can forget it.

Rob Coats,

If you Care… Then Please leave me your feedback

“Success without Significance, has no value”