This year, I’m going to do this, this year I’m going to do that, this year I’m going to make some real money!  Blah, Blah, Blah! That’s how it starts. Every year, you resolve to be different. The problem with resolutions though, is that they are tradition and command no real commitment!! They are often misdirected & they seldom involve any change of the one  important thing… and that’s YOU!!

 Now there’s nothing wrong with making resolutions but we must remember we have to create an action plan that will make your resolve stronger. I don’t understand how people think just by going into a new year that everything will change when they still have the same tired, broke busted and disgusted mentality! Here are  3  resolutions to remember in 2010 that will help you achieve the goals that most people only dream about.

Resolution 1: I WILL “be” the change that I seek

You want the change that Obama promised you? The truth is that you have to create it. And that begins with changing your frame of mind. Everything visible manifests first in the invisible. The intangible makes the tangible.

 Resolution 2: I WILL “stop” treating people like transactions

 The worst thing you can do is to treat people like transactions. Do you ever wonder why people don’t seem to respond to your phone calls or emails? Most likely it’s because you only contact them when you need something. No one wants to be a part of a single sided relationship.

 Resolution 3: I WILL “give” value first

 Make it a point to help someone else! But here’s the kicker…don’t ask for anything in return. Think I’m crazy? There is something called the law of reciprocation that begins to work in your favor. Having a mindset like this will help you gain valuable allies that are the key to your success.

 Ok so now that you have the mindset covered, we can work on building your network!

 5 Secrets to building a Spartans type network

1.      Be a Friend- Jeffrey Gitomer says it best in his quote “All things being created equal people want to do business with their friends.” Instead of buiding more customers build more friends and watch your business sky rocket!

2.      Be Strategic- Do your research and create a plan. Find out things like what they are passionate about and give them ideas, resources you’re your connections if it will help them fulfill it.

3.      Be Patient- Wise people know that it takes time to establish trust. You have to be honest and consistent for a while… sometimes 6 months or even a year to get most influential people to trust you.

4.      Add Value First- Find ways to solve problems for people in your network. Be the problem solver and overtime you will become a connection that your colleagues can’t afford not to know.

5.      Follow up- The fortune is in the follow up. Be consistent and focus on building a long lasting friendship and overtime you will reap big rewards.

 Three Advantages of Building Your Network Like this:

• Private Information- this is key in most business transactions. Having a connection on the inside can only help you get to your goal faster.
• Access to Diverse Skill Sets- People you network with can bring a variety of         knowledge and information to the table. It’s like a Thanksgiving buffet of information!
• Access to Power- The people you have access to will open doors you didn’t even know existed!

This blog is my present to you for 2010 to read this meditate on this for the rest of the year and really try to internalize this message! I guarantee you will thank me later.

Leave me a Comment and Let me know your ALIVE out there!

A lot of people will look at this headline and think I’m crazy for writing this. Well, you’re probably right, I am crazy. But my writing is a product of my experiences and I guarantee you that by the time you finish reading this blog you will certainly feel me.

 I try to make myself as transparent as I can for you all because I feel that it is more important that we connect on a real level instead of me coming off as some esoteric and illusive, super human being. I go through the same things that everyone else goes through; the only difference is that I’ve found a larger platform on which to channel it. And that’s by writing it down and sharing it with the world.

Growing up I had 4 other siblings and two very hard working parents, so they didn’t always have the time (or make the time) to take me to the barbershop. You should also know that when I was young I was not a very confident kid. I had acne and braces and wore second hand clothing. My mother would go to the thrift store to find old clothes that had brand labels and cut them out and put them on my Kmart jeans! My mother, bless her heart, had such wonderful intentions… lol! So with that culmination of circumstances against me, I felt that I at least I should be able to get a good haircut! Haircuts were so few and far between that my mother eventually took it upon herself to cut me and my little brother’s hair. Not so much the experienced barber, she gave us our edge ups the only way she knew how. Can you say “Chili bowl”?! She would take a small plastic bowl, place it on my head and cut around it! Go ahead and laugh, I know you probably are anyways, but this was a lot of stress on somebody that was just going through puberty. I decided to take a page from Tyler Perry, unbeknownst to him at the time, and adopted the philosophy “I can do bad all by myself” (he may owe me some royalties for that one). I took the clippers and tried to give myself a fade, but it was so bad I ended up just cutting it all off.  My next haircut = bald, next haircut = bald again! My first 10 to 20 attempts were pretty bad, but I soon would get better. Before long my brother let me practice my craft on his head, then my nephews, and then my best friends. By the time I got to high school I was really good. I was even cutting my teacher’s hair! By the time I was 15  I was running a pretty lucrative operation.

So what is the moral of the story? Every trial is an opportunity for advancement. Through what looked like a disadvantage, was instead able to create an advantage! I had discovered for myself a trade that I now could take anywhere and use to make myself a profit. I used cutting hair to propel myself through college and also as a jumping point that led to other opportunities that made me even more money. Being a barber was my first step to becoming a connectionaire. As a barber it was imperative that I was able to build trust and cement relationships. The majority of a barbers ability to create longevity stems from creating repeat business. And if you’re good they will come back atleast every two weeks. Over time when your clients really feel like they know you, they begin to place value in you and will give you access to information that they would only tell their best friends or those in their immediate circles!

 So what are the key points to take away from this story?

• Count Your Blessings- If something looks bleak in the present it doesn’t mean it’s going to stay like that. Usually, your misfortunes wind up being what makes you your fortune. Your charge is to analyze the negative and find the positive.
• Build Trust- Over time, being consistent and adding value first will pay off. Give people the opportunity to trust you and then once you have it, you will have access to information and opportunities that you may not have know existed.
• It’s a marathon- There is no such thing as overnight success. Anything that appears to have happened suddenly, most likely has taken 5-10 years to pay off.

 Little did I know that having to cut my own hair would save me thousands of dollars over the course of the last 14 years, and would lead to me making tens of thousands more. You see, lacking money makes you look to your remaining resources. This also explains why people at the “bottom” are “hungrier” and approach a project with more tenacity. When you are able to look at your disadvantages and turn them into your advantages, you truly realize the power of having no money!

If you have made it this far the least you can do is let me know that your alive and LEAVE A COMMENT!

What controls the decisions you will make in your life? Is it your surroundings? Your friends, your family, your upbringing? Perhaps your level of intelligence (or the lack thereof)… Or, is it your beliefs?
Anthony Robbins compares the human mind to a kitchen table. In his audio book, Awaken the Giant Within You, he speculates that thoughts are a table top and the things that build your table are the legs, which are references (References here meaning lessons, experiences, and visual interpretations). When you get 3 or more references that you make up for yourself, whether they are real or totally made up (because your subconscious mind can’t differentiate between what’s real and what is fake), you combine your reference with a thought and poof!… You have a belief! To make it plain, a belief is simply an extreme certainty.
To make this simple I will illustrate this through a story… The Peanut and the Spider Monkey

The spider monkey is considered a new age monkey. This simply means that this breed of monkey is underdeveloped with a smaller intelligence capacity than the traditional monkeys we learn about in school. South American hunters prey on the spider monkey. By nature, spider monkeys are protective and defensive which makes them difficult to corral. In order to avoid fighting the elusive mammal, the hunters instead choose to trap them. Using a heavy container with a small opening in the top, and a wide bottom, the hunter strategically drops his lure. The bait: a special nut that is irresistible to the spider monkey. After the hunter has disappeared, the monkey will come down from his treetop hideaway, attracted by the scent of the nut. The monkey reaches into the container, his flexible hand barely fitting inside. Now here’s the kicker, once the monkey clenches the nut in his palm, his hand is too big to be removed from the container, and the container is too heavy to be carried away. Defeated, the monkey, instead of simply letting go of the nut, will sit down and hold on to the nut still inside of the container. The hunter has only to pick up the monkey and carry it away to its demise.

Now some of you are wondering why the stupid monkey doesn’t just let the peanut go, (well it’s a banana in the picture, but you get it)
I ask you the same question, with your silly peanut beliefs…

Are you happy with your life right now or are you holding onto the same peanut beliefs that will leave you broke…not just financially broke, but also emotionally or worse yet, spiritually bankrupt?

You can place blame on other people, or situations, or circumstances, but you never take a step back and look at the common denominator…YOU!
Excuse me, I forgot, you’re perfect and you just live in an imperfect world.
“Your beliefs are the first thing that will change things for you, yet when searching for a solution, they are the last place that people will look.”-Rob Coats
The truth is, perhaps that your beliefs and your perception of self is simply distorted. You believe that the life you currently lead is all that you deserve. You do the same things because it’s all that you know. Einstein says that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity. So what you have to do, is change the way that you believe.

Begin by questioning your current set of beliefs. Identify the things in your life that are holding you back and try to evaluate the connection these setbacks have to your belief system. Search to find the “3 references” that have solidified these beliefs in your head. Keep a close eye on your “intake”. The things that we see, hear, and feel are directly related to what we believe. If you want to reshape what you believe, change what you put in your mind.

Finally; you have to stop beating yourself up! Stop believing the lies or deceptive agreements that were made up for you before you were old enough to make your own decisions, or that you created yourself. This way of thinking is only a prison that will hold you hostage until you are ready to let it go. Never believe that what is in your hand is more valuable than the life you could have if you simply opened it up.

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Your visual presentation is important! In the initial stages of connecting the first thing that is observed is your wrapping. All of your talent, skills, etc are inside of the package. First impressions are how you get your foot in the door. The way that you look, speak and carry yourself really sticks with people. What are you presenting? What impressions are you making? 

John Molloy, the author of “Dress for Success, writes that 90% of how you present yourself is visual. Your appearance and demeanor communicate who you are, your level of self-assurance, and your ability to interact. 

The way that you present yourself determines whether people will be drawn to you or want to run from you. As much as I try my hardest not to judge people by how they present themselves, I do. We all do. It is very important to me because it tells me a little bit about the person. I tell myself if it’s not important for them to look like business people, I’m not certain that they’ll take my business seriously. Make sure that you know your stuff if you make the mistake of not dressing like the great person that you are. When you open your mouth, you should be so knowledgeable and articulate that they forget what you’re wearing.  

Zora Neal Hurston once described character saying, “He walked like he knew where he was going.” You must be confident and be aware of yourself, your target audience and your surroundings. Self-awareness is a must if you want to become an effective connector.

 Check me out on facebook and you can see even more pictures of me dressing to impress! LOL. Post a comment in the box below and let me know if you agree!

I know that it is all relative but if you if you want to get money, then dress like money, walk like money and talk like money! 

I’m dressed like a couple million bucks. How about you?

I need to be honest with you. Rob Coats wasn’t always the so-called Connectionaire. At best, I was a “financiaholic” (dubbed by my intern).

At 21, like many college students, I wasn’t focused on getting a degree and getting a good paying job. I was focused on breaking the statistic of being a “broke college student”.

I started off with a talent I learned at 12 years old- cutting hair. It took, like anything, 3 years to build a clientele. I was making almost $150/day cutting hair. I had almost no expenses. A high-school connection led me into a direct-sales marketing phenomena. I went from earning great money cutting hair to an impressive $5,000/month while still remaining on Wright State’s dean list.

One day, while talking to my professor about my businesses, he asked what I was doing still in school. He pointed out: “You are one of those people that will be successful with or without college.”

His affirmation of what I had already been thinking led me to my decision. I finished out that semester, and withdrew from the University. Now that my attention was solely on direct-sales, my income increased, some months topping $15,000. By 23 I was making well over 6 figures.

The chase for money cost me many relationships; life-long friends and family. Like many business ventures, the company downsized and my paycheck soon followed. Now I was out an elaborate lifestyle, and a support system.

I moved back into “the low-level suite” (my parent’s basement), and took 6-8 months to focus on the internal rather than the external: I reflected, read, and studied. I needed to overcome this defeat, as well as better prepare myself for life’s next hurdle. This time, I was going to be prepared. And, I was going to chase after my passion, not my paycheck.

My next attempt was in Real Estate. Although I had been conquered before, I did not give up on my passion for self-employment. Through real estate I built connectionships/relationships with many people and re-sparked my love of connecting. I began things like philanthropy projects that were of no monetary benefit, but more importantly, helped others in need.

Realizing that not everyone shares the people-skills I have, I began nationwide networking events to teach/train people how to affectively connect and build life-long relationships, as opposed to short-transactional relationships. I’ve even authored a book, Connect and Grow Rich, out December 1, that is a how-to guide on growing wealth by connecting, both in person and online.

Check me out on facebook and let me know what you think of my story by posting a comment in the box below.

In the 21st industry, it seems like everyone has NADD (Networking attention deficit disorder). You have less than ten seconds to gain a person’s attention. So, from the start you have to know how to differentiate yourself from the rest, get noticed, and most importantly BE MEMORABLE!

It doesn’t matter if that person is a star or if that person’s an everyday acquaintance. In the above video, Bentley shows how he made himself noticed by P.Diddy, who has an entire show about how to work for him. Bentley did it on his own. This is very valuable information.Take 5 min., watch it, soak it up, learn how to have the most influential people in the world knocking on your door.

Share your personal story on gaining notoriety in the comment box below..

“I owe yous” are non-existent in the world of networking. Stop watching out for yourself and start looking out for your connections. It’s a long and lonely career life when you’re only focused on yourself. Don’t keep tally of who owes.

50/50 is not a winning proposition. A relationship does not need to be entirely mutual. There are going to be those you mentor and those that mentor you. Satisfaction should be found in helping others achieve their goals. When someone helps you out, don’t feel like you’re indebted. They did it out of the goodness of their hearts. Remember this kind gesture and “pay it forward”. If we all use our Connectionaire skills and help each other out, we’ll build a strong business empire simultaneously.

Take 2 seconds to comment in the box below to show me you’re out there.

Don’t treat people like a transaction. It’s just that simple. Turn off WIIFM (What’s in it for me) and turn on “what can I do for you”. By helping people and adding value to their life, their business, their connections, you build a rapport.

Be different, be engaging, ask people about their passion, ask them how you can help them with this.

Isn’t it scary that no matter how much knowledge you hold in that noggin’ of yours and how much credibility you can muster, it can all be torn down by those you ASSOCIATE with. A Connectionaire is always aware of who they are surrounded by. If you’re questioning whether or not your relationship with someone could be hurting you, ask yourself these questions:

• Do our values/ethics aline?
• Would I recommend this person to a colleague?
• Is this a mutual relationship?
• Do you counsel/encourage each other in goals and aspirations?
• Would you introduce this person to others you are doing business with?
• Would you vouch for them?

Always- Consistency is mandatory to all Connectionaires. Know what you are capable of, what you want, and keep at it! Nothing screams UNPLUG louder than a connection with someone that is unreliable. Be “of value” to others and bring value their way as well.

Be- Connectionaire is who you are. It’s a thought-process, it’s an action, it’s a way of life. Think of your actions as stepping stones to where you want to be. Do your spoken words match your inner thoughts? Do you execute things that lend to your ultimate goal? Be on your game!

Connecting- Connecting goes far beyond trading business cards at a networking event. Meeting people and exchanging contact information is just the tip. For starters, don’t compile a mountain of contacts that have no VALUE to you. Make sure that each business card you keep has a name, face, story and relationship attached to it. I’m not saying that you have to be dating this person or preparing for Thanksgiving dinner with them, but you do have to share a desire to help one another. After retaining someone’s contact information, go ahead- contact them! 99% of people don’t follow up- standing out is that easy! Following up with a person after an initial encounter shows them your interest and commitment to making the connectionship be a success.

Start by connecting with me. Leave a comment in the box below.