A lot of people will look at this headline and think I’m crazy for writing this. Well, you’re probably right, I am crazy. But my writing is a product of my experiences and I guarantee you that by the time you finish reading this blog you will certainly feel me.

 I try to make myself as transparent as I can for you all because I feel that it is more important that we connect on a real level instead of me coming off as some esoteric and illusive, super human being. I go through the same things that everyone else goes through; the only difference is that I’ve found a larger platform on which to channel it. And that’s by writing it down and sharing it with the world.

Growing up I had 4 other siblings and two very hard working parents, so they didn’t always have the time (or make the time) to take me to the barbershop. You should also know that when I was young I was not a very confident kid. I had acne and braces and wore second hand clothing. My mother would go to the thrift store to find old clothes that had brand labels and cut them out and put them on my Kmart jeans! My mother, bless her heart, had such wonderful intentions… lol! So with that culmination of circumstances against me, I felt that I at least I should be able to get a good haircut! Haircuts were so few and far between that my mother eventually took it upon herself to cut me and my little brother’s hair. Not so much the experienced barber, she gave us our edge ups the only way she knew how. Can you say “Chili bowl”?! She would take a small plastic bowl, place it on my head and cut around it! Go ahead and laugh, I know you probably are anyways, but this was a lot of stress on somebody that was just going through puberty. I decided to take a page from Tyler Perry, unbeknownst to him at the time, and adopted the philosophy “I can do bad all by myself” (he may owe me some royalties for that one). I took the clippers and tried to give myself a fade, but it was so bad I ended up just cutting it all off.  My next haircut = bald, next haircut = bald again! My first 10 to 20 attempts were pretty bad, but I soon would get better. Before long my brother let me practice my craft on his head, then my nephews, and then my best friends. By the time I got to high school I was really good. I was even cutting my teacher’s hair! By the time I was 15  I was running a pretty lucrative operation.

So what is the moral of the story? Every trial is an opportunity for advancement. Through what looked like a disadvantage, was instead able to create an advantage! I had discovered for myself a trade that I now could take anywhere and use to make myself a profit. I used cutting hair to propel myself through college and also as a jumping point that led to other opportunities that made me even more money. Being a barber was my first step to becoming a connectionaire. As a barber it was imperative that I was able to build trust and cement relationships. The majority of a barbers ability to create longevity stems from creating repeat business. And if you’re good they will come back atleast every two weeks. Over time when your clients really feel like they know you, they begin to place value in you and will give you access to information that they would only tell their best friends or those in their immediate circles!

 So what are the key points to take away from this story?

• Count Your Blessings- If something looks bleak in the present it doesn’t mean it’s going to stay like that. Usually, your misfortunes wind up being what makes you your fortune. Your charge is to analyze the negative and find the positive.
• Build Trust- Over time, being consistent and adding value first will pay off. Give people the opportunity to trust you and then once you have it, you will have access to information and opportunities that you may not have know existed.
• It’s a marathon- There is no such thing as overnight success. Anything that appears to have happened suddenly, most likely has taken 5-10 years to pay off.

 Little did I know that having to cut my own hair would save me thousands of dollars over the course of the last 14 years, and would lead to me making tens of thousands more. You see, lacking money makes you look to your remaining resources. This also explains why people at the “bottom” are “hungrier” and approach a project with more tenacity. When you are able to look at your disadvantages and turn them into your advantages, you truly realize the power of having no money!

If you have made it this far the least you can do is let me know that your alive and LEAVE A COMMENT!

What controls the decisions you will make in your life? Is it your surroundings? Your friends, your family, your upbringing? Perhaps your level of intelligence (or the lack thereof)… Or, is it your beliefs?
Anthony Robbins compares the human mind to a kitchen table. In his audio book, Awaken the Giant Within You, he speculates that thoughts are a table top and the things that build your table are the legs, which are references (References here meaning lessons, experiences, and visual interpretations). When you get 3 or more references that you make up for yourself, whether they are real or totally made up (because your subconscious mind can’t differentiate between what’s real and what is fake), you combine your reference with a thought and poof!… You have a belief! To make it plain, a belief is simply an extreme certainty.
To make this simple I will illustrate this through a story… The Peanut and the Spider Monkey

The spider monkey is considered a new age monkey. This simply means that this breed of monkey is underdeveloped with a smaller intelligence capacity than the traditional monkeys we learn about in school. South American hunters prey on the spider monkey. By nature, spider monkeys are protective and defensive which makes them difficult to corral. In order to avoid fighting the elusive mammal, the hunters instead choose to trap them. Using a heavy container with a small opening in the top, and a wide bottom, the hunter strategically drops his lure. The bait: a special nut that is irresistible to the spider monkey. After the hunter has disappeared, the monkey will come down from his treetop hideaway, attracted by the scent of the nut. The monkey reaches into the container, his flexible hand barely fitting inside. Now here’s the kicker, once the monkey clenches the nut in his palm, his hand is too big to be removed from the container, and the container is too heavy to be carried away. Defeated, the monkey, instead of simply letting go of the nut, will sit down and hold on to the nut still inside of the container. The hunter has only to pick up the monkey and carry it away to its demise.

Now some of you are wondering why the stupid monkey doesn’t just let the peanut go, (well it’s a banana in the picture, but you get it)
I ask you the same question, with your silly peanut beliefs…

Are you happy with your life right now or are you holding onto the same peanut beliefs that will leave you broke…not just financially broke, but also emotionally or worse yet, spiritually bankrupt?

You can place blame on other people, or situations, or circumstances, but you never take a step back and look at the common denominator…YOU!
Excuse me, I forgot, you’re perfect and you just live in an imperfect world.
“Your beliefs are the first thing that will change things for you, yet when searching for a solution, they are the last place that people will look.”-Rob Coats
The truth is, perhaps that your beliefs and your perception of self is simply distorted. You believe that the life you currently lead is all that you deserve. You do the same things because it’s all that you know. Einstein says that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity. So what you have to do, is change the way that you believe.

Begin by questioning your current set of beliefs. Identify the things in your life that are holding you back and try to evaluate the connection these setbacks have to your belief system. Search to find the “3 references” that have solidified these beliefs in your head. Keep a close eye on your “intake”. The things that we see, hear, and feel are directly related to what we believe. If you want to reshape what you believe, change what you put in your mind.

Finally; you have to stop beating yourself up! Stop believing the lies or deceptive agreements that were made up for you before you were old enough to make your own decisions, or that you created yourself. This way of thinking is only a prison that will hold you hostage until you are ready to let it go. Never believe that what is in your hand is more valuable than the life you could have if you simply opened it up.

Please leave a comment and Share this post!