“Leap and the net will appear. There will be a thousand unseen bands waiting just for you.” –Joseph Campbell

I was recently cutting the hair of a friend who is a sophomore in college at Ohio State University and he was very troubled about networking. Now here’s a guy that had made over $100k at the age of 16 by doing computer consulting for companies, so by no means does he lack intelligence. His challenge, however, was his social skills. He told me that he didn’t feel like he had interpersonal skills because he was either on the computer 8 hours a day, or studying for the 23 credit hours that he was taking this semester. He told me he found it hard to keep conversations going past the “Hi my name is ____ and I’m a student at Ohio State” point.

 His dilemma is very common for most people in society today but is very simple to master. If you want to become effective with communication just master the art of asking the right questions.

 The best opening questions are those that encourage people to speak about themselves, or their work, passions, family, or experiences. Remember people love talking about themselves. Making the conversation about them in the very beginning lets you see what kind of person they are and also can help you to find some common ground

 Here are 8 great questions to build rapport in social or business settings:

• As the owner of a business, what do you find to be the two or three greatest challenges you face?
• How do you relieve the stress of your work?
• How did you get into your line of work?
• Who are your role models?
• When did you decide on this career path?
• How has your year been?
• What is your goal for next year?
• Where would you most like to live and work?

 So with this being said if want to know how to keep the conversation flowing MEMORIZE these questions. Don’t just glance at these and take notes but make it a conscious decision to know these like you know the back of your hand. I guarantee these will get you past the quiet awkward moments. Lastly, remember to be “Yourself.” You never know if the person on the other end has had (or is having) the very same conflicts you have!

 Please comment, tweet or digg this if you got something out of this! Thank you!

“It’s not what you know or who you know but who you will ask.” – Rob Coats
Getting help from people is one of the main reasons for establishing a large network but if you never take the time to tap into your network you will waste a heck of a lot of time.

For most people, asking for help isn’t an easy thing and it’s because in life usually at a very early age we’ve asked for something and were either scolded or hurt in a big way as a result and that experience has shaped our current reality. I’ve read that most people do things for 2 reasons in life: to avoid pain and/or to gain pleasure.  Most people would rather suffer than actually take the chance and get help to fix the problem. I will do my best at helping you over this hurdle in your life.

Most people don’t like asking for help when networking because it makes them feel vulnerable and they feel that they will either owe the person or the person will hold it over there head forever.

I recently read a blog post by Dr.Deb (a psychologist that specializes in trauma and depression) who was interviewed for The Tyra Banks Show on How To Ask For Help.

This is what she listed as being some of the most common myths that  hold people back from Asking today.

Myth: It makes us look vulnerable.

Truth: Asking for help creates an atmosphere of empowerment. It communicates to others that, while you may not have the answers, you are willing to find them and make things better.

Myth: Holding things in and keeping personal issues under wraps keeps us secure.

Lastly rember these 3 things when asking for help;
1. What type of help you need- Be specific. Let people know exactly what it is you want so they can know how to assist you.
2. Why you need it
3. When you need it

When you practice these simple truths you are much more likely to get help when asking then to not get it at all.

Please leave comments so I know that your alive.

Don’t treat people like a transaction. It’s just that simple. Turn off WIIFM (What’s in it for me) and turn on “what can I do for you”. By helping people and adding value to their life, their business, their connections, you build a rapport.

Be different, be engaging, ask people about their passion, ask them how you can help them with this.

Isn’t it scary that no matter how much knowledge you hold in that noggin’ of yours and how much credibility you can muster, it can all be torn down by those you ASSOCIATE with. A Connectionaire is always aware of who they are surrounded by. If you’re questioning whether or not your relationship with someone could be hurting you, ask yourself these questions:

• Do our values/ethics aline?
• Would I recommend this person to a colleague?
• Is this a mutual relationship?
• Do you counsel/encourage each other in goals and aspirations?
• Would you introduce this person to others you are doing business with?
• Would you vouch for them?

Always- Consistency is mandatory to all Connectionaires. Know what you are capable of, what you want, and keep at it! Nothing screams UNPLUG louder than a connection with someone that is unreliable. Be “of value” to others and bring value their way as well.

Be- Connectionaire is who you are. It’s a thought-process, it’s an action, it’s a way of life. Think of your actions as stepping stones to where you want to be. Do your spoken words match your inner thoughts? Do you execute things that lend to your ultimate goal? Be on your game!

Connecting- Connecting goes far beyond trading business cards at a networking event. Meeting people and exchanging contact information is just the tip. For starters, don’t compile a mountain of contacts that have no VALUE to you. Make sure that each business card you keep has a name, face, story and relationship attached to it. I’m not saying that you have to be dating this person or preparing for Thanksgiving dinner with them, but you do have to share a desire to help one another. After retaining someone’s contact information, go ahead- contact them! 99% of people don’t follow up- standing out is that easy! Following up with a person after an initial encounter shows them your interest and commitment to making the connectionship be a success.

Start by connecting with me. Leave a comment in the box below.

“I would rather attempt something great and fail than attempt to do nothing and succeed.” – Robert Schuller

Relationships are everything- In the 21rst century Relationships are everything as a matter of fact all selling will be relational selling.

Customers and people are naturally suspicious and they have a right to be. People or customers consider the relationship to be more powerful then the product that you are selling. I hate to tell you this but your product or service is usually somewhere else. They don’t have to buy from you… They can buy right from your competitor or not buy at all. The only reason they are going to buy from you is because they know, like, and believe in you and feel what you are saying is true.

Please take a moment to “Comment” and tell me Your Thoughts on this. Thank You

In this tough economy, no one has to tell you how important it is to network. If you don’t know that, you are either independently wealthy and don’t ever need to work, or you’ve been hiding under a rock for the bulk of your career.

What a lot of people don’t recognize, until they are faced with a difficult situation, is that it pays to stay connected –particularly in good times, when you don’t feel the need as much to keep in touch. Staying networked on a regular basis will put you steps ahead of everyone else who has not remained connected when it comes time for a job search or getting the information or resources you need.

While most people are happy to help you by either taking time to meet with you or spend a few minutes to chat on the phone, their time is limited–and no one likes a fair-weather friend, acquaintance, or colleague. It is uncomfortable for both parties to become reconnected only when one person needs something from the other. This may work once, but it rarely works twice.

Aside from the obvious efforts to join industry associations or attend alumni events, there are some simple, yet highly effective, ways to stay connected and build stronger professional relationships.

Go to lunch.
It’s easy to get consumed at work or in your daily activities and just inhale a sandwich at your desk. However, by making a point to go to lunch at least once or twice a week with a friend or colleague who works at your firm or elsewhere, you can not only stay in touch, but you can also find out what’s happening with other people and other companies.

Give value first
This is best done unsolicited, but is just as important when someone asks you for help. Whether it is putting people in contact with a potential employer, client, partner, etc., or giving them information that could be useful for them, they will remember your generosity and return the favor. For example, by sending people information on an upcoming Connect Your Life event that they may not already be aware of, with a note attached (”I thought you might be interested in this.”), you remind them of your presence and demonstrate your willingness to help them. Once again, most people will be flattered that you thought of them.

Connect others.
By putting other people in touch and helping them to broaden their connectionships, you are helping them expand the realm of people that they can, in turn, put you in touch with. They will also remember the favor (magazine…lol) and return it one day.

Help others succeed.
If the saying goes, “It pays to know people in high places,” then help others attain these high places, so you can know these people.

If you go to Connect Your Life events on a monthly basis, people will start to come to you as a source of information. People will say, “Call Robbie–she knows everyone.” Or, “Call Chad, he always knows what people are up to.” When you’ve achieved and maintained this level of connection with others, your call to them will seem far less of an imposition than it might have if you hadn’t made these ongoing efforts to stay connected.

If you’ve made it this far down please take 2 Seconds and Make a Comment! I’d love to hear your thoughts

So your going to a connecting function that you have never been to before (or maybe even one you have) determined to crack the connection code and start building priceless business relationships. Here are five proven strategies for making contact at connection events.

1. Go it alone. When attending connection functions, go by yourself or at least communicate to your carpool buddies that you should all fan out. Moving about an event solo encourages people to approach you and makes it easy to mingle and initiate conversations. It may be more comfortable to have a friend right there with you, but remember: you are there to grow your network, not hang with the people already in your network.

2. Study the tags. If name tags are pre-printed and on display at the registration table, scan the tags of the other attendees to see what opportunities await you. Here’s something, though I have not tried this myself, Rachel Wood, a top financial advisor in the Boston area who introduced herself to me after one of my CODE Crackers Networking seminars, does something pretty neato. If she spots a name tag on the registration table of someone she would like to meet, she asks the people manning the table if she can clip a note to their tag saying she would like to meet them. She swears by it.

3. Circle and scan. Before diving into the event, try circling the room and checking out the name tags for people or companies you definitely want to make contact with while there.

4. Look for people standing alone. These folks may be nervous, and your initiative will often endear you to them. Plus, one-on-one connecting is the best connecting.

5. Sit between people you do not know well. If the event is a sit-down affair, do not sit by a friend or business associate. You already know that person! Plan who you want to sit by, but wait until the last minute to actually sit down so you can keep making new contacts.

Share how you’ve stood out at a networking event in the comment box below.

It’s 9:00 pm on a Sunday night. I’m just leaving a Spoken word poetry event at the King Arts complex. I’m in my car which happens to have rims and a tint on, but it’s unfortunate because I’m in a side of town that says if your young, and have a flashy car you have to be pulled over. I’m driving the speed limit still in my suit looking like a million bucks when I see Red and Blue Lights flashing.

Officer -”Sir I need to see your license.”

Uhh Ok…

“Do you want my insurance and registration?”

I say Officer- “Nope”.

The next words I hear are step out of the car.

But “what did I do?”

“Your license plate light is out!”

Ohhhhh Really I say to myself. Next thing I know I’m in handcuffs in the back of the car. About 30 minutes later I’m let go with a ticket.

As I’m riding back I’m feeling sad… Not helpless but still frustrated because It’s not too much I can do. I get home I’m thinking to myself “man I can’t wait to be a fricking Billionaire so things like this will never happen” is my intentions. Only if I knew the right people or even cop things would have been much easier. Not even 2 minutes after I say that I have a message in my inbox that says “Call me and here’s my number”. I call and to my astonishment I have a friend I went to high school with that is now a cop. He tells me that the cop who just arrested him calls him and ask if he knows me because in the text of our conversation I mention that I went to wright state. The guy who I went to high school with tells him yea Rob Coats! “He’s cool, real clean cut brotha.” The cop then says he was pretty cool and then tells him he wants to change it to a code 2 which is just a warning but can’t because he just got in trouble for it.

Now if that’s not the law of attraction I don’t know what is! I was frustrated at the situation but now just thinking about it I’m grateful because not only do I have a friend who is a cop but if something in the future happens I have his cell and all I have to do is mention that I know him and I’m good!! That’s crazy! I knew connecting and networking was important but now I feel like I just went to a revival because I’m even more excited to help my friend who is a cop get a house because he’s been renting. They say everything happens for a reason and that couldn’t be anymore true then what just took place tonight. My advice: Always keep a good name and treat people right because you never know when or where you will need that person or when your character will be questioned…

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