BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER WATCH THIS VIDEO:

CRAP! I Think I’m Tiger Woods!

Tiger did it. He did it A LOT! So many women put him on Front Street that it wasn’t funny. If I would have been given the chance to get some money I would have went on Access Hollywood myself and took some shots! Truthfully in all seriousness Tiger was in trouble way before that faithful Thanksgiving night in 2009 and I could tell what the problem was immediately…he lost his accountability. He lost his way. In 2006 Tiger lost his accountability partner, his father, Earl Woods. The next thing you know Tiger was having his own personal FreekNiK with all sorts of women.

While everyone was busy judging Mr. Woods, I had to step back and look at myself. I too can be Tiger Woods. I AM TIGER WOODS! You are too! No, there aren’t Perkins waitresses and Las Vegas party promoters in my bedroom that causes me to be comparable. But I too have committed infidelity quite a bit…on my dreams, goals, and aspirations. Many times I’ve made a to-do-list only to step out on it with something else. (Don’t judge me, you too have committed Success Adultery!) My lack of accountability started to close in on me and my future success came at me swinging a Titleist 9 Iron! When the medics arrived it was quite a wake-up call.

My dreams, goals, and aspirations are Elin Woods and I needed to find a “Sex Rehab” so to speak. So I found what is called an Accountability Partner. Accountability Partners are so important because they don’t let you resort back to the old you. You don’t need someone who is there to just keep you in check and be someone that you tell your biggest and darkest secrets to. You need someone who is always going to be encouraging you to be better and reach the goals that you set for yourself.

I Need One of These

How the heck do I find an Accountability Partner? I’m glad you asked. Finding someone to keep you accountable is as important as marrying the right spouse. The chemistry can either be as magical as Puffy and Ma$e or Cliff & Claire Huxtable or as toxic as Terrell Owens and any team that he has played for since he left the 49ers.

I’m going to let you in on my “Accountability Partner” world. My AP is Shanel Cooper Sykes, a successful New Yorker that is relentless in her pursuit to make me better. It’s not always sexy. It doesn’t always look like Paula Patton in a gorgeous red carpet gown. Sometimes it can be downright Mo’Nique in “Precious” (okay a little extreme but you get the point.) Sometimes necessary outweighs sexy and it’s for the BEST. My AP is important to my success and my growth. I call her my Success Wife! She makes me take out the garbage, do chores, and talks to me while the game is on (read: keeps me focused.) Here’s how:

• Having an AP in Shanel Cooper Sykes has been amazing because before I even had an idea to write my book she already finished hers. She had already took the time and went through the whole process so that helped me with making less errors because she had already done it. She also had been successful at selling thousands of copies online. She sold a lot of copies so that let me know that it was possible to do.
• My Success Wife kept me focused on finishing the book because I am a idea-holic at times. I am an aries (don’t know if that matters) and when I get an inspired thought or Aha! moment, I will instantly move on to the next new project and not spend as many hours being patient so I can let the first idea come to fruition. Many times I said “what about if I open a chain of barber shops or start doing my “Connect Your Life” events” and she would say STOP! Promote your book now Rob now that youre finished. Put a link in your status updates that lets people buy. Do a teleseminar etc…
• My AP is always there to let me know when I’m going against the image or brand that I’m portraying. Many times she’s corrected me when I’m posting things on a break up or a meaningless quote or song and she will say “Rob, what are you doing!” Post something about your Book! People don’t care about what you just ate. Give them value! Let them know why Connecting is important. Many times she has went as far as posting things on actual post that say “Rob! You just don’t get it! Smh!” and this is open for all my friends and fans to see! You need someone who is bold like that who will pimp slap you to Success and embarress you if they have to!
• “What are you doing” WW_D? Knowing who you want to model is key. What keeps Shanel focused on her empire is always thinking What Would Oprah Do? Before she posts any statement she clearly thinks about it. That keeps her brand tight. Finding someone you look up to and studying their post and seeing what they do to grow their success will help you immensely when building your brand online and in person.
• She keeps me humble. All my social media friends can be telling me how much of a great job I’m doing but she will make me look at reality and say “so how much have you made off of people “liking” your status updates? Her job isn’t to make me feel good… It’s to make me rich and by giving me the honest truth day in and day out whether I like it or not is definitely rare. .
• My AP never lets me get comfortable with present or past successes…. A quote I always remember is “fame is a vapor, popularity an accident.” John Hagee, a famous TV pastor says, “Success brings stagnation, and with stagnation comes death.” Always be in creation mode.
• Choosing an AP for each field in your life where you need improvement will also help you on your journey. The only thing that seperates me from most people is knowing that I don’t know everything and I can’t do it all myself. I have AP’s in speaking, in writing, in fitness, and spiritual. Every single one of them are are better than me in their chosen field of expertise. Every single one! Lets take speaking for example. Now that I’m finished with my book the way to get it out to more people is to share it in person. For that I will have to start tailoring powerful messages. Now the reality is I haven’t done public speaking for months but now that I have a powerful publicist I have to have a polished speech. For that I called my friends Shaun Derik, Javier Sanchez and Chris Davis. These individuals have been speaking full time for several years. Why not call them and get their expertise and get the best possible plan in the shortest amount of time so I can kill the speaking game! I borrow their experiences and they give me secrets so I don’t have to waste time making mistakes on my own.
• Pick up your phone and answer your emails. At times when I get off course I don’t want to speak to my AP’s because I know I’m not doing what I should do but that doesn’t do anything but slow me down. Running or hiding from a situation doesn’t help you. Be up front and take your whoopon like a man! In the end you will thank them greatly for it!
• Having someone keep you straight and on pace is a big deal! It’s a big deal for both parties. It’s the person that is keeping you on pace with your small goals so that when you look up a year from now and see how much farther you’ve gone it will blow your mind.
•  It’s easy to say what you’re going to do. It’s easy to write them down on paper or put them in the notes section of your “Droid, iPhone, or Blackberry; it’s another thing to look your AP in the face and try to explain why you didn’t get it done but you really had no excuse that is worthy enough. That’s what Tiger had to feel like while telling Elin why he couldn’t get those vows done. I’m done cheating on my dreams, goals, and aspirations. That is the feeling my Accountability Partner helps me avoid every time we meet.

My advice to you is to get one…NOW!

If you have an accountability partner, how do you make sure that you both get the most from the relationship?

Please Leave a Comment and Let me know you’re alive!!

I need to be honest with you. Rob Coats wasn’t always the so-called Connectionaire. At best, I was a “financiaholic” (dubbed by my intern).

At 21, like many college students, I wasn’t focused on getting a degree and getting a good paying job. I was focused on breaking the statistic of being a “broke college student”.

I started off with a talent I learned at 12 years old- cutting hair. It took, like anything, 3 years to build a clientele. I was making almost $150/day cutting hair. I had almost no expenses. A high-school connection led me into a direct-sales marketing phenomena. I went from earning great money cutting hair to an impressive $5,000/month while still remaining on Wright State’s dean list.

One day, while talking to my professor about my businesses, he asked what I was doing still in school. He pointed out: “You are one of those people that will be successful with or without college.”

His affirmation of what I had already been thinking led me to my decision. I finished out that semester, and withdrew from the University. Now that my attention was solely on direct-sales, my income increased, some months topping $15,000. By 23 I was making well over 6 figures.

The chase for money cost me many relationships; life-long friends and family. Like many business ventures, the company downsized and my paycheck soon followed. Now I was out an elaborate lifestyle, and a support system.

I moved back into “the low-level suite” (my parent’s basement), and took 6-8 months to focus on the internal rather than the external: I reflected, read, and studied. I needed to overcome this defeat, as well as better prepare myself for life’s next hurdle. This time, I was going to be prepared. And, I was going to chase after my passion, not my paycheck.

My next attempt was in Real Estate. Although I had been conquered before, I did not give up on my passion for self-employment. Through real estate I built connectionships/relationships with many people and re-sparked my love of connecting. I began things like philanthropy projects that were of no monetary benefit, but more importantly, helped others in need.

Realizing that not everyone shares the people-skills I have, I began nationwide networking events to teach/train people how to affectively connect and build life-long relationships, as opposed to short-transactional relationships. I’ve even authored a book, Connect and Grow Rich, out December 1, that is a how-to guide on growing wealth by connecting, both in person and online.

Check me out on facebook and let me know what you think of my story by posting a comment in the box below.

“It’s not what you know or who you know but who you will ask.” – Rob Coats
Getting help from people is one of the main reasons for establishing a large network but if you never take the time to tap into your network you will waste a heck of a lot of time.

For most people, asking for help isn’t an easy thing and it’s because in life usually at a very early age we’ve asked for something and were either scolded or hurt in a big way as a result and that experience has shaped our current reality. I’ve read that most people do things for 2 reasons in life: to avoid pain and/or to gain pleasure.  Most people would rather suffer than actually take the chance and get help to fix the problem. I will do my best at helping you over this hurdle in your life.

Most people don’t like asking for help when networking because it makes them feel vulnerable and they feel that they will either owe the person or the person will hold it over there head forever.

I recently read a blog post by Dr.Deb (a psychologist that specializes in trauma and depression) who was interviewed for The Tyra Banks Show on How To Ask For Help.

This is what she listed as being some of the most common myths that  hold people back from Asking today.

Myth: It makes us look vulnerable.

Truth: Asking for help creates an atmosphere of empowerment. It communicates to others that, while you may not have the answers, you are willing to find them and make things better.

Myth: Holding things in and keeping personal issues under wraps keeps us secure.

Lastly rember these 3 things when asking for help;
1. What type of help you need- Be specific. Let people know exactly what it is you want so they can know how to assist you.
2. Why you need it
3. When you need it

When you practice these simple truths you are much more likely to get help when asking then to not get it at all.

Please leave comments so I know that your alive.

“I owe yous” are non-existent in the world of networking. Stop watching out for yourself and start looking out for your connections. It’s a long and lonely career life when you’re only focused on yourself. Don’t keep tally of who owes.

50/50 is not a winning proposition. A relationship does not need to be entirely mutual. There are going to be those you mentor and those that mentor you. Satisfaction should be found in helping others achieve their goals. When someone helps you out, don’t feel like you’re indebted. They did it out of the goodness of their hearts. Remember this kind gesture and “pay it forward”. If we all use our Connectionaire skills and help each other out, we’ll build a strong business empire simultaneously.

Take 2 seconds to comment in the box below to show me you’re out there.

Isn’t it scary that no matter how much knowledge you hold in that noggin’ of yours and how much credibility you can muster, it can all be torn down by those you ASSOCIATE with. A Connectionaire is always aware of who they are surrounded by. If you’re questioning whether or not your relationship with someone could be hurting you, ask yourself these questions:

• Do our values/ethics aline?
• Would I recommend this person to a colleague?
• Is this a mutual relationship?
• Do you counsel/encourage each other in goals and aspirations?
• Would you introduce this person to others you are doing business with?
• Would you vouch for them?

Always- Consistency is mandatory to all Connectionaires. Know what you are capable of, what you want, and keep at it! Nothing screams UNPLUG louder than a connection with someone that is unreliable. Be “of value” to others and bring value their way as well.

Be- Connectionaire is who you are. It’s a thought-process, it’s an action, it’s a way of life. Think of your actions as stepping stones to where you want to be. Do your spoken words match your inner thoughts? Do you execute things that lend to your ultimate goal? Be on your game!

Connecting- Connecting goes far beyond trading business cards at a networking event. Meeting people and exchanging contact information is just the tip. For starters, don’t compile a mountain of contacts that have no VALUE to you. Make sure that each business card you keep has a name, face, story and relationship attached to it. I’m not saying that you have to be dating this person or preparing for Thanksgiving dinner with them, but you do have to share a desire to help one another. After retaining someone’s contact information, go ahead- contact them! 99% of people don’t follow up- standing out is that easy! Following up with a person after an initial encounter shows them your interest and commitment to making the connectionship be a success.

Start by connecting with me. Leave a comment in the box below.

“I would rather attempt something great and fail than attempt to do nothing and succeed.” – Robert Schuller

Relationships are everything- In the 21rst century Relationships are everything as a matter of fact all selling will be relational selling.

Customers and people are naturally suspicious and they have a right to be. People or customers consider the relationship to be more powerful then the product that you are selling. I hate to tell you this but your product or service is usually somewhere else. They don’t have to buy from you… They can buy right from your competitor or not buy at all. The only reason they are going to buy from you is because they know, like, and believe in you and feel what you are saying is true.

Please take a moment to “Comment” and tell me Your Thoughts on this. Thank You

In this tough economy, no one has to tell you how important it is to network. If you don’t know that, you are either independently wealthy and don’t ever need to work, or you’ve been hiding under a rock for the bulk of your career.

What a lot of people don’t recognize, until they are faced with a difficult situation, is that it pays to stay connected –particularly in good times, when you don’t feel the need as much to keep in touch. Staying networked on a regular basis will put you steps ahead of everyone else who has not remained connected when it comes time for a job search or getting the information or resources you need.

While most people are happy to help you by either taking time to meet with you or spend a few minutes to chat on the phone, their time is limited–and no one likes a fair-weather friend, acquaintance, or colleague. It is uncomfortable for both parties to become reconnected only when one person needs something from the other. This may work once, but it rarely works twice.

Aside from the obvious efforts to join industry associations or attend alumni events, there are some simple, yet highly effective, ways to stay connected and build stronger professional relationships.

Go to lunch.
It’s easy to get consumed at work or in your daily activities and just inhale a sandwich at your desk. However, by making a point to go to lunch at least once or twice a week with a friend or colleague who works at your firm or elsewhere, you can not only stay in touch, but you can also find out what’s happening with other people and other companies.

Give value first
This is best done unsolicited, but is just as important when someone asks you for help. Whether it is putting people in contact with a potential employer, client, partner, etc., or giving them information that could be useful for them, they will remember your generosity and return the favor. For example, by sending people information on an upcoming Connect Your Life event that they may not already be aware of, with a note attached (”I thought you might be interested in this.”), you remind them of your presence and demonstrate your willingness to help them. Once again, most people will be flattered that you thought of them.

Connect others.
By putting other people in touch and helping them to broaden their connectionships, you are helping them expand the realm of people that they can, in turn, put you in touch with. They will also remember the favor (magazine…lol) and return it one day.

Help others succeed.
If the saying goes, “It pays to know people in high places,” then help others attain these high places, so you can know these people.

If you go to Connect Your Life events on a monthly basis, people will start to come to you as a source of information. People will say, “Call Robbie–she knows everyone.” Or, “Call Chad, he always knows what people are up to.” When you’ve achieved and maintained this level of connection with others, your call to them will seem far less of an imposition than it might have if you hadn’t made these ongoing efforts to stay connected.

If you’ve made it this far down please take 2 Seconds and Make a Comment! I’d love to hear your thoughts

The Value of Connecting,
whether you’re looking for a job or not, is important. Why does it matter?

According to the New York firm BH Careers International, 80% of all available jobs don’t make it to job boards or the classifieds. Landing a position, therefore, is far more likely to be accomplished through word-of-mouth. That means who you know and who knows you are paramount to your career.

Whether you are content in your current job, actively looking elsewhere, have not had a job in years, or are working on getting your very first position, networking is important. You never know when you will need to call on your contacts, or when they may have a lead on an exciting new opportunity.

The Round-the-Clock Approach
True or False:

If you already have a job, there’s no need to connect.
Connecting is only done at formal business get togethers.
You can’t connect successfully if you’ve never had a job or haven’t worked for awhile.

The answer to all these questions is “false.” You should always be connecting, no matter what your current job status. If you think of every place you go as an opportunity to meet people, whether it’s for business or pleasure, you will expand your connectionship seamlessly and have resources to tap when it’s time to make your move. Your current job status doesn’t matter.

Contacting former colleagues, friends, and family and arranging face-to-face meetings may be the core of networking. But so are the serendipitous contacts you make standing in line for stamps, mingling at a tenants or neighborhood meeting, or striking up a conversation with the person at a fundraiser or on the next treadmill in the gym.

What Makes A Successful Connectionaire?
It’s true that the longer you’ve been in the work world, the more people you can call on. But even if you haven’t worked for years, you probably already know a lot of people through informal network-community book clubs, faith-based groups, walking groups, and children, for instance. Having multiple networks exponentially increases your professional opportunities.

It’s how you network that will determine your effectiveness. HR experts and savvy connectionaires offer this advice:

Be prepared. Rehearse what is known as an “elevator speech,” a 30 second summary of what you currently do and what you’d like to do professionally to use in social and business situations. Say it in a way that will make someone want to pursue the conversation. For example, instead of, “I’m a freelance magazine writer trying to branch out into corporate communications,” try, “I just finished a national magazine story about a group in their 70s, 80s and 90s who sing rock ‘n roll and tour Europe.” If you’re not currently working, you could say, “I recently helped raise $50,000 at my son’s school to start an art program and I’m hoping to find a job in business development,” or “I volunteer at the local hospital with preemies and am thinking of pursuing a job in child development.”

Always have business cards with you and an up-to-date resume you can send off upon request. At the very least, business cards should contain your name, address, telephone number, and e-mail.

Make a list. Consider current and former colleagues, competitors, classmates, parents of your childrens’ friends, your spouse’s and your parents’ friends and business associates, neighbors, relatives, acquaintances from professional associations, organizations, religious or community groups, or bridge or golf buddies. When appropriate, tell them you are job hunting and ask if they can recommend a couple of people for you to contact.

Fill in the gaps and be visible. What’s missing? Reconnect with old friends (high school and college reunions) and former colleagues. Sign up on alumni websites. Join trade organizations and boards. Volunteer on committees to meet members. Circulate!

Follow up promptly. After you’ve met someone knowledgeable and interesting, send a quick e-mail or a handwritten note. Say that you enjoyed meeting them and mention something you discussed to jog their memory. (”It was fun talking about….”) Tell them you want to learn more about how their company hires financial analysts, for example, and offer to take them for coffee or lunch. Let them know you will follow up in a week or so.

IMPORTANT!!!!
Stay in touch. The best time to be in contact is when you don’t need anything. The point is to build a rapport so that when you do need a favor, it feels comfortable to ask. Then, every few months, send an e-mail or call to say hello. Let them know there is no agenda. When you read an article you think might interest them, send it off with a short note. Your job is to keep your name at the top of their list should they hear of an opening.

Ask for advice, not a job. You risk turning off potential contacts if you hit them up outright, so seek their counsel instead. (If there’s an appropriate job, they will bring it up.) Draw them out about their business experience. Explain your skills, the kind of position you seek, and then solicit suggestions.

Be grateful. A thank you note to everyone who helps you is a must, whether it is handwritten or an e-mail. Keep contacts appraised of how their referrals pan out.

Offer to return the favor. Be generous with your contacts so there is give and take. Make introductions when you think it will benefit prospects, and let them know you want to reciprocate their kindness.

Create your own connectionships. Get together once a month with five or six people you respect to learn more about their work. Actively trade leads.

Be patient. Meeting someone once rarely leads to a job. Connecting requires time and effort to cultivate and nurture relationships.

If you’ve made it this far don’t STOP! Please Leave me a comment! Thank You

So your going to a connecting function that you have never been to before (or maybe even one you have) determined to crack the connection code and start building priceless business relationships. Here are five proven strategies for making contact at connection events.

1. Go it alone. When attending connection functions, go by yourself or at least communicate to your carpool buddies that you should all fan out. Moving about an event solo encourages people to approach you and makes it easy to mingle and initiate conversations. It may be more comfortable to have a friend right there with you, but remember: you are there to grow your network, not hang with the people already in your network.

2. Study the tags. If name tags are pre-printed and on display at the registration table, scan the tags of the other attendees to see what opportunities await you. Here’s something, though I have not tried this myself, Rachel Wood, a top financial advisor in the Boston area who introduced herself to me after one of my CODE Crackers Networking seminars, does something pretty neato. If she spots a name tag on the registration table of someone she would like to meet, she asks the people manning the table if she can clip a note to their tag saying she would like to meet them. She swears by it.

3. Circle and scan. Before diving into the event, try circling the room and checking out the name tags for people or companies you definitely want to make contact with while there.

4. Look for people standing alone. These folks may be nervous, and your initiative will often endear you to them. Plus, one-on-one connecting is the best connecting.

5. Sit between people you do not know well. If the event is a sit-down affair, do not sit by a friend or business associate. You already know that person! Plan who you want to sit by, but wait until the last minute to actually sit down so you can keep making new contacts.

Share how you’ve stood out at a networking event in the comment box below.