BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER WATCH THIS VIDEO:

CRAP! I Think I’m Tiger Woods!

Tiger did it. He did it A LOT! So many women put him on Front Street that it wasn’t funny. If I would have been given the chance to get some money I would have went on Access Hollywood myself and took some shots! Truthfully in all seriousness Tiger was in trouble way before that faithful Thanksgiving night in 2009 and I could tell what the problem was immediately…he lost his accountability. He lost his way. In 2006 Tiger lost his accountability partner, his father, Earl Woods. The next thing you know Tiger was having his own personal FreekNiK with all sorts of women.

While everyone was busy judging Mr. Woods, I had to step back and look at myself. I too can be Tiger Woods. I AM TIGER WOODS! You are too! No, there aren’t Perkins waitresses and Las Vegas party promoters in my bedroom that causes me to be comparable. But I too have committed infidelity quite a bit…on my dreams, goals, and aspirations. Many times I’ve made a to-do-list only to step out on it with something else. (Don’t judge me, you too have committed Success Adultery!) My lack of accountability started to close in on me and my future success came at me swinging a Titleist 9 Iron! When the medics arrived it was quite a wake-up call.

My dreams, goals, and aspirations are Elin Woods and I needed to find a “Sex Rehab” so to speak. So I found what is called an Accountability Partner. Accountability Partners are so important because they don’t let you resort back to the old you. You don’t need someone who is there to just keep you in check and be someone that you tell your biggest and darkest secrets to. You need someone who is always going to be encouraging you to be better and reach the goals that you set for yourself.

I Need One of These

How the heck do I find an Accountability Partner? I’m glad you asked. Finding someone to keep you accountable is as important as marrying the right spouse. The chemistry can either be as magical as Puffy and Ma$e or Cliff & Claire Huxtable or as toxic as Terrell Owens and any team that he has played for since he left the 49ers.

I’m going to let you in on my “Accountability Partner” world. My AP is Shanel Cooper Sykes, a successful New Yorker that is relentless in her pursuit to make me better. It’s not always sexy. It doesn’t always look like Paula Patton in a gorgeous red carpet gown. Sometimes it can be downright Mo’Nique in “Precious” (okay a little extreme but you get the point.) Sometimes necessary outweighs sexy and it’s for the BEST. My AP is important to my success and my growth. I call her my Success Wife! She makes me take out the garbage, do chores, and talks to me while the game is on (read: keeps me focused.) Here’s how:

• Having an AP in Shanel Cooper Sykes has been amazing because before I even had an idea to write my book she already finished hers. She had already took the time and went through the whole process so that helped me with making less errors because she had already done it. She also had been successful at selling thousands of copies online. She sold a lot of copies so that let me know that it was possible to do.
• My Success Wife kept me focused on finishing the book because I am a idea-holic at times. I am an aries (don’t know if that matters) and when I get an inspired thought or Aha! moment, I will instantly move on to the next new project and not spend as many hours being patient so I can let the first idea come to fruition. Many times I said “what about if I open a chain of barber shops or start doing my “Connect Your Life” events” and she would say STOP! Promote your book now Rob now that youre finished. Put a link in your status updates that lets people buy. Do a teleseminar etc…
• My AP is always there to let me know when I’m going against the image or brand that I’m portraying. Many times she’s corrected me when I’m posting things on a break up or a meaningless quote or song and she will say “Rob, what are you doing!” Post something about your Book! People don’t care about what you just ate. Give them value! Let them know why Connecting is important. Many times she has went as far as posting things on actual post that say “Rob! You just don’t get it! Smh!” and this is open for all my friends and fans to see! You need someone who is bold like that who will pimp slap you to Success and embarress you if they have to!
• “What are you doing” WW_D? Knowing who you want to model is key. What keeps Shanel focused on her empire is always thinking What Would Oprah Do? Before she posts any statement she clearly thinks about it. That keeps her brand tight. Finding someone you look up to and studying their post and seeing what they do to grow their success will help you immensely when building your brand online and in person.
• She keeps me humble. All my social media friends can be telling me how much of a great job I’m doing but she will make me look at reality and say “so how much have you made off of people “liking” your status updates? Her job isn’t to make me feel good… It’s to make me rich and by giving me the honest truth day in and day out whether I like it or not is definitely rare. .
• My AP never lets me get comfortable with present or past successes…. A quote I always remember is “fame is a vapor, popularity an accident.” John Hagee, a famous TV pastor says, “Success brings stagnation, and with stagnation comes death.” Always be in creation mode.
• Choosing an AP for each field in your life where you need improvement will also help you on your journey. The only thing that seperates me from most people is knowing that I don’t know everything and I can’t do it all myself. I have AP’s in speaking, in writing, in fitness, and spiritual. Every single one of them are are better than me in their chosen field of expertise. Every single one! Lets take speaking for example. Now that I’m finished with my book the way to get it out to more people is to share it in person. For that I will have to start tailoring powerful messages. Now the reality is I haven’t done public speaking for months but now that I have a powerful publicist I have to have a polished speech. For that I called my friends Shaun Derik, Javier Sanchez and Chris Davis. These individuals have been speaking full time for several years. Why not call them and get their expertise and get the best possible plan in the shortest amount of time so I can kill the speaking game! I borrow their experiences and they give me secrets so I don’t have to waste time making mistakes on my own.
• Pick up your phone and answer your emails. At times when I get off course I don’t want to speak to my AP’s because I know I’m not doing what I should do but that doesn’t do anything but slow me down. Running or hiding from a situation doesn’t help you. Be up front and take your whoopon like a man! In the end you will thank them greatly for it!
• Having someone keep you straight and on pace is a big deal! It’s a big deal for both parties. It’s the person that is keeping you on pace with your small goals so that when you look up a year from now and see how much farther you’ve gone it will blow your mind.
•  It’s easy to say what you’re going to do. It’s easy to write them down on paper or put them in the notes section of your “Droid, iPhone, or Blackberry; it’s another thing to look your AP in the face and try to explain why you didn’t get it done but you really had no excuse that is worthy enough. That’s what Tiger had to feel like while telling Elin why he couldn’t get those vows done. I’m done cheating on my dreams, goals, and aspirations. That is the feeling my Accountability Partner helps me avoid every time we meet.

My advice to you is to get one…NOW!

If you have an accountability partner, how do you make sure that you both get the most from the relationship?

Please Leave a Comment and Let me know you’re alive!!

A lot of people will look at this headline and think I’m crazy for writing this. Well, you’re probably right, I am crazy. But my writing is a product of my experiences and I guarantee you that by the time you finish reading this blog you will certainly feel me.

 I try to make myself as transparent as I can for you all because I feel that it is more important that we connect on a real level instead of me coming off as some esoteric and illusive, super human being. I go through the same things that everyone else goes through; the only difference is that I’ve found a larger platform on which to channel it. And that’s by writing it down and sharing it with the world.

Growing up I had 4 other siblings and two very hard working parents, so they didn’t always have the time (or make the time) to take me to the barbershop. You should also know that when I was young I was not a very confident kid. I had acne and braces and wore second hand clothing. My mother would go to the thrift store to find old clothes that had brand labels and cut them out and put them on my Kmart jeans! My mother, bless her heart, had such wonderful intentions… lol! So with that culmination of circumstances against me, I felt that I at least I should be able to get a good haircut! Haircuts were so few and far between that my mother eventually took it upon herself to cut me and my little brother’s hair. Not so much the experienced barber, she gave us our edge ups the only way she knew how. Can you say “Chili bowl”?! She would take a small plastic bowl, place it on my head and cut around it! Go ahead and laugh, I know you probably are anyways, but this was a lot of stress on somebody that was just going through puberty. I decided to take a page from Tyler Perry, unbeknownst to him at the time, and adopted the philosophy “I can do bad all by myself” (he may owe me some royalties for that one). I took the clippers and tried to give myself a fade, but it was so bad I ended up just cutting it all off.  My next haircut = bald, next haircut = bald again! My first 10 to 20 attempts were pretty bad, but I soon would get better. Before long my brother let me practice my craft on his head, then my nephews, and then my best friends. By the time I got to high school I was really good. I was even cutting my teacher’s hair! By the time I was 15  I was running a pretty lucrative operation.

So what is the moral of the story? Every trial is an opportunity for advancement. Through what looked like a disadvantage, was instead able to create an advantage! I had discovered for myself a trade that I now could take anywhere and use to make myself a profit. I used cutting hair to propel myself through college and also as a jumping point that led to other opportunities that made me even more money. Being a barber was my first step to becoming a connectionaire. As a barber it was imperative that I was able to build trust and cement relationships. The majority of a barbers ability to create longevity stems from creating repeat business. And if you’re good they will come back atleast every two weeks. Over time when your clients really feel like they know you, they begin to place value in you and will give you access to information that they would only tell their best friends or those in their immediate circles!

 So what are the key points to take away from this story?

• Count Your Blessings- If something looks bleak in the present it doesn’t mean it’s going to stay like that. Usually, your misfortunes wind up being what makes you your fortune. Your charge is to analyze the negative and find the positive.
• Build Trust- Over time, being consistent and adding value first will pay off. Give people the opportunity to trust you and then once you have it, you will have access to information and opportunities that you may not have know existed.
• It’s a marathon- There is no such thing as overnight success. Anything that appears to have happened suddenly, most likely has taken 5-10 years to pay off.

 Little did I know that having to cut my own hair would save me thousands of dollars over the course of the last 14 years, and would lead to me making tens of thousands more. You see, lacking money makes you look to your remaining resources. This also explains why people at the “bottom” are “hungrier” and approach a project with more tenacity. When you are able to look at your disadvantages and turn them into your advantages, you truly realize the power of having no money!

If you have made it this far the least you can do is let me know that your alive and LEAVE A COMMENT!

Always- Consistency is mandatory to all Connectionaires. Know what you are capable of, what you want, and keep at it! Nothing screams UNPLUG louder than a connection with someone that is unreliable. Be “of value” to others and bring value their way as well.

Be- Connectionaire is who you are. It’s a thought-process, it’s an action, it’s a way of life. Think of your actions as stepping stones to where you want to be. Do your spoken words match your inner thoughts? Do you execute things that lend to your ultimate goal? Be on your game!

Connecting- Connecting goes far beyond trading business cards at a networking event. Meeting people and exchanging contact information is just the tip. For starters, don’t compile a mountain of contacts that have no VALUE to you. Make sure that each business card you keep has a name, face, story and relationship attached to it. I’m not saying that you have to be dating this person or preparing for Thanksgiving dinner with them, but you do have to share a desire to help one another. After retaining someone’s contact information, go ahead- contact them! 99% of people don’t follow up- standing out is that easy! Following up with a person after an initial encounter shows them your interest and commitment to making the connectionship be a success.

Start by connecting with me. Leave a comment in the box below.

“I would rather attempt something great and fail than attempt to do nothing and succeed.” – Robert Schuller

Relationships are everything- In the 21rst century Relationships are everything as a matter of fact all selling will be relational selling.

Customers and people are naturally suspicious and they have a right to be. People or customers consider the relationship to be more powerful then the product that you are selling. I hate to tell you this but your product or service is usually somewhere else. They don’t have to buy from you… They can buy right from your competitor or not buy at all. The only reason they are going to buy from you is because they know, like, and believe in you and feel what you are saying is true.

Please take a moment to “Comment” and tell me Your Thoughts on this. Thank You

The Value of Connecting,
whether you’re looking for a job or not, is important. Why does it matter?

According to the New York firm BH Careers International, 80% of all available jobs don’t make it to job boards or the classifieds. Landing a position, therefore, is far more likely to be accomplished through word-of-mouth. That means who you know and who knows you are paramount to your career.

Whether you are content in your current job, actively looking elsewhere, have not had a job in years, or are working on getting your very first position, networking is important. You never know when you will need to call on your contacts, or when they may have a lead on an exciting new opportunity.

The Round-the-Clock Approach
True or False:

If you already have a job, there’s no need to connect.
Connecting is only done at formal business get togethers.
You can’t connect successfully if you’ve never had a job or haven’t worked for awhile.

The answer to all these questions is “false.” You should always be connecting, no matter what your current job status. If you think of every place you go as an opportunity to meet people, whether it’s for business or pleasure, you will expand your connectionship seamlessly and have resources to tap when it’s time to make your move. Your current job status doesn’t matter.

Contacting former colleagues, friends, and family and arranging face-to-face meetings may be the core of networking. But so are the serendipitous contacts you make standing in line for stamps, mingling at a tenants or neighborhood meeting, or striking up a conversation with the person at a fundraiser or on the next treadmill in the gym.

What Makes A Successful Connectionaire?
It’s true that the longer you’ve been in the work world, the more people you can call on. But even if you haven’t worked for years, you probably already know a lot of people through informal network-community book clubs, faith-based groups, walking groups, and children, for instance. Having multiple networks exponentially increases your professional opportunities.

It’s how you network that will determine your effectiveness. HR experts and savvy connectionaires offer this advice:

Be prepared. Rehearse what is known as an “elevator speech,” a 30 second summary of what you currently do and what you’d like to do professionally to use in social and business situations. Say it in a way that will make someone want to pursue the conversation. For example, instead of, “I’m a freelance magazine writer trying to branch out into corporate communications,” try, “I just finished a national magazine story about a group in their 70s, 80s and 90s who sing rock ‘n roll and tour Europe.” If you’re not currently working, you could say, “I recently helped raise $50,000 at my son’s school to start an art program and I’m hoping to find a job in business development,” or “I volunteer at the local hospital with preemies and am thinking of pursuing a job in child development.”

Always have business cards with you and an up-to-date resume you can send off upon request. At the very least, business cards should contain your name, address, telephone number, and e-mail.

Make a list. Consider current and former colleagues, competitors, classmates, parents of your childrens’ friends, your spouse’s and your parents’ friends and business associates, neighbors, relatives, acquaintances from professional associations, organizations, religious or community groups, or bridge or golf buddies. When appropriate, tell them you are job hunting and ask if they can recommend a couple of people for you to contact.

Fill in the gaps and be visible. What’s missing? Reconnect with old friends (high school and college reunions) and former colleagues. Sign up on alumni websites. Join trade organizations and boards. Volunteer on committees to meet members. Circulate!

Follow up promptly. After you’ve met someone knowledgeable and interesting, send a quick e-mail or a handwritten note. Say that you enjoyed meeting them and mention something you discussed to jog their memory. (”It was fun talking about….”) Tell them you want to learn more about how their company hires financial analysts, for example, and offer to take them for coffee or lunch. Let them know you will follow up in a week or so.

IMPORTANT!!!!
Stay in touch. The best time to be in contact is when you don’t need anything. The point is to build a rapport so that when you do need a favor, it feels comfortable to ask. Then, every few months, send an e-mail or call to say hello. Let them know there is no agenda. When you read an article you think might interest them, send it off with a short note. Your job is to keep your name at the top of their list should they hear of an opening.

Ask for advice, not a job. You risk turning off potential contacts if you hit them up outright, so seek their counsel instead. (If there’s an appropriate job, they will bring it up.) Draw them out about their business experience. Explain your skills, the kind of position you seek, and then solicit suggestions.

Be grateful. A thank you note to everyone who helps you is a must, whether it is handwritten or an e-mail. Keep contacts appraised of how their referrals pan out.

Offer to return the favor. Be generous with your contacts so there is give and take. Make introductions when you think it will benefit prospects, and let them know you want to reciprocate their kindness.

Create your own connectionships. Get together once a month with five or six people you respect to learn more about their work. Actively trade leads.

Be patient. Meeting someone once rarely leads to a job. Connecting requires time and effort to cultivate and nurture relationships.

If you’ve made it this far don’t STOP! Please Leave me a comment! Thank You

So your going to a connecting function that you have never been to before (or maybe even one you have) determined to crack the connection code and start building priceless business relationships. Here are five proven strategies for making contact at connection events.

1. Go it alone. When attending connection functions, go by yourself or at least communicate to your carpool buddies that you should all fan out. Moving about an event solo encourages people to approach you and makes it easy to mingle and initiate conversations. It may be more comfortable to have a friend right there with you, but remember: you are there to grow your network, not hang with the people already in your network.

2. Study the tags. If name tags are pre-printed and on display at the registration table, scan the tags of the other attendees to see what opportunities await you. Here’s something, though I have not tried this myself, Rachel Wood, a top financial advisor in the Boston area who introduced herself to me after one of my CODE Crackers Networking seminars, does something pretty neato. If she spots a name tag on the registration table of someone she would like to meet, she asks the people manning the table if she can clip a note to their tag saying she would like to meet them. She swears by it.

3. Circle and scan. Before diving into the event, try circling the room and checking out the name tags for people or companies you definitely want to make contact with while there.

4. Look for people standing alone. These folks may be nervous, and your initiative will often endear you to them. Plus, one-on-one connecting is the best connecting.

5. Sit between people you do not know well. If the event is a sit-down affair, do not sit by a friend or business associate. You already know that person! Plan who you want to sit by, but wait until the last minute to actually sit down so you can keep making new contacts.

Share how you’ve stood out at a networking event in the comment box below.

It seems so simple but I’m still not convinced that most people understand the power of this statement. How many times have you heard someone say “I don’t care”?

I have a nephew who just turned 16 years old and it seems like this is his favorite thing to say to his mother, grand parents, or any other adult that you would think respect would automatically be given.

The second day at his new high school he got suspended for fighting another young boy because he didn’t like the way he was looking at him. When his principal asked him how he thought his recent performance would affect his grades, he looked away, shrugged his shoulders and said boldly, “I don’t care!” Whenever he’s getting in trouble (which seems like every second of the day) his response to everybody but his friends or myself is “I DON’T CARE!”

When I picked him up from school that day, I said “Tyler, what’s going on? Tell me your side of the story and what really happened.” Now most people upon hearing this news would have immediately began with a lengthy discourse and started the punishment process, but I decided to take different approach because I know there is always two sides to every story. He readily started to open up about the civil conflict and finish every line with “You feel me bro?” Now why do you think his response to me, his uncle, was different then that of most other adults? Because I seeked first to understand then, to be understood. I listened to what he cared about first and followed with, “I can understand where your coming from and I can see how that would make you feel.” Once he knew that I CARED about him, that opened the door to allow him to be receptive of new information as to how this conflict could have been avoided and not just take my advice as a grain of salt. Because we have developed this bond, his response is usually,”Yea.. Your right. I’ll think before I act the next time.”

Now if this statement (People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care) is true how can you apply this to your networkmarketing business? When your introduced to a Multi Level Marketing company and your sitting there at the presentation or your giving one to a person, they have to know that you care about them? That your achieving there goals more than you just getting a commission check. That you want to help them move from the mindset of I wish I could do, to, I know I can.

In addition to helping people change their psychological process to the positive, it is still the duty of every networker to know clearly your inventory, your product, the mechanics and possess the negotiating skills to be a success in network marketing. Most importantly, without a genuine love for people… you can forget it.

Rob Coats,

If you Care… Then Please leave me your feedback

“Success without Significance, has no value”