“It’s not what you know or who you know but who you will ask.” – Rob Coats
Getting help from people is one of the main reasons for establishing a large network but if you never take the time to tap into your network you will waste a heck of a lot of time.

For most people, asking for help isn’t an easy thing and it’s because in life usually at a very early age we’ve asked for something and were either scolded or hurt in a big way as a result and that experience has shaped our current reality. I’ve read that most people do things for 2 reasons in life: to avoid pain and/or to gain pleasure.  Most people would rather suffer than actually take the chance and get help to fix the problem. I will do my best at helping you over this hurdle in your life.

Most people don’t like asking for help when networking because it makes them feel vulnerable and they feel that they will either owe the person or the person will hold it over there head forever.

I recently read a blog post by Dr.Deb (a psychologist that specializes in trauma and depression) who was interviewed for The Tyra Banks Show on How To Ask For Help.

This is what she listed as being some of the most common myths that  hold people back from Asking today.

Myth: It makes us look vulnerable.

Truth: Asking for help creates an atmosphere of empowerment. It communicates to others that, while you may not have the answers, you are willing to find them and make things better.

Myth: Holding things in and keeping personal issues under wraps keeps us secure.

Lastly rember these 3 things when asking for help;
1. What type of help you need- Be specific. Let people know exactly what it is you want so they can know how to assist you.
2. Why you need it
3. When you need it

When you practice these simple truths you are much more likely to get help when asking then to not get it at all.

Please leave comments so I know that your alive.

In this tough economy, no one has to tell you how important it is to network. If you don’t know that, you are either independently wealthy and don’t ever need to work, or you’ve been hiding under a rock for the bulk of your career.

What a lot of people don’t recognize, until they are faced with a difficult situation, is that it pays to stay connected –particularly in good times, when you don’t feel the need as much to keep in touch. Staying networked on a regular basis will put you steps ahead of everyone else who has not remained connected when it comes time for a job search or getting the information or resources you need.

While most people are happy to help you by either taking time to meet with you or spend a few minutes to chat on the phone, their time is limited–and no one likes a fair-weather friend, acquaintance, or colleague. It is uncomfortable for both parties to become reconnected only when one person needs something from the other. This may work once, but it rarely works twice.

Aside from the obvious efforts to join industry associations or attend alumni events, there are some simple, yet highly effective, ways to stay connected and build stronger professional relationships.

Go to lunch.
It’s easy to get consumed at work or in your daily activities and just inhale a sandwich at your desk. However, by making a point to go to lunch at least once or twice a week with a friend or colleague who works at your firm or elsewhere, you can not only stay in touch, but you can also find out what’s happening with other people and other companies.

Give value first
This is best done unsolicited, but is just as important when someone asks you for help. Whether it is putting people in contact with a potential employer, client, partner, etc., or giving them information that could be useful for them, they will remember your generosity and return the favor. For example, by sending people information on an upcoming Connect Your Life event that they may not already be aware of, with a note attached (”I thought you might be interested in this.”), you remind them of your presence and demonstrate your willingness to help them. Once again, most people will be flattered that you thought of them.

Connect others.
By putting other people in touch and helping them to broaden their connectionships, you are helping them expand the realm of people that they can, in turn, put you in touch with. They will also remember the favor (magazine…lol) and return it one day.

Help others succeed.
If the saying goes, “It pays to know people in high places,” then help others attain these high places, so you can know these people.

If you go to Connect Your Life events on a monthly basis, people will start to come to you as a source of information. People will say, “Call Robbie–she knows everyone.” Or, “Call Chad, he always knows what people are up to.” When you’ve achieved and maintained this level of connection with others, your call to them will seem far less of an imposition than it might have if you hadn’t made these ongoing efforts to stay connected.

If you’ve made it this far down please take 2 Seconds and Make a Comment! I’d love to hear your thoughts

The Value of Connecting,
whether you’re looking for a job or not, is important. Why does it matter?

According to the New York firm BH Careers International, 80% of all available jobs don’t make it to job boards or the classifieds. Landing a position, therefore, is far more likely to be accomplished through word-of-mouth. That means who you know and who knows you are paramount to your career.

Whether you are content in your current job, actively looking elsewhere, have not had a job in years, or are working on getting your very first position, networking is important. You never know when you will need to call on your contacts, or when they may have a lead on an exciting new opportunity.

The Round-the-Clock Approach
True or False:

If you already have a job, there’s no need to connect.
Connecting is only done at formal business get togethers.
You can’t connect successfully if you’ve never had a job or haven’t worked for awhile.

The answer to all these questions is “false.” You should always be connecting, no matter what your current job status. If you think of every place you go as an opportunity to meet people, whether it’s for business or pleasure, you will expand your connectionship seamlessly and have resources to tap when it’s time to make your move. Your current job status doesn’t matter.

Contacting former colleagues, friends, and family and arranging face-to-face meetings may be the core of networking. But so are the serendipitous contacts you make standing in line for stamps, mingling at a tenants or neighborhood meeting, or striking up a conversation with the person at a fundraiser or on the next treadmill in the gym.

What Makes A Successful Connectionaire?
It’s true that the longer you’ve been in the work world, the more people you can call on. But even if you haven’t worked for years, you probably already know a lot of people through informal network-community book clubs, faith-based groups, walking groups, and children, for instance. Having multiple networks exponentially increases your professional opportunities.

It’s how you network that will determine your effectiveness. HR experts and savvy connectionaires offer this advice:

Be prepared. Rehearse what is known as an “elevator speech,” a 30 second summary of what you currently do and what you’d like to do professionally to use in social and business situations. Say it in a way that will make someone want to pursue the conversation. For example, instead of, “I’m a freelance magazine writer trying to branch out into corporate communications,” try, “I just finished a national magazine story about a group in their 70s, 80s and 90s who sing rock ‘n roll and tour Europe.” If you’re not currently working, you could say, “I recently helped raise $50,000 at my son’s school to start an art program and I’m hoping to find a job in business development,” or “I volunteer at the local hospital with preemies and am thinking of pursuing a job in child development.”

Always have business cards with you and an up-to-date resume you can send off upon request. At the very least, business cards should contain your name, address, telephone number, and e-mail.

Make a list. Consider current and former colleagues, competitors, classmates, parents of your childrens’ friends, your spouse’s and your parents’ friends and business associates, neighbors, relatives, acquaintances from professional associations, organizations, religious or community groups, or bridge or golf buddies. When appropriate, tell them you are job hunting and ask if they can recommend a couple of people for you to contact.

Fill in the gaps and be visible. What’s missing? Reconnect with old friends (high school and college reunions) and former colleagues. Sign up on alumni websites. Join trade organizations and boards. Volunteer on committees to meet members. Circulate!

Follow up promptly. After you’ve met someone knowledgeable and interesting, send a quick e-mail or a handwritten note. Say that you enjoyed meeting them and mention something you discussed to jog their memory. (”It was fun talking about….”) Tell them you want to learn more about how their company hires financial analysts, for example, and offer to take them for coffee or lunch. Let them know you will follow up in a week or so.

IMPORTANT!!!!
Stay in touch. The best time to be in contact is when you don’t need anything. The point is to build a rapport so that when you do need a favor, it feels comfortable to ask. Then, every few months, send an e-mail or call to say hello. Let them know there is no agenda. When you read an article you think might interest them, send it off with a short note. Your job is to keep your name at the top of their list should they hear of an opening.

Ask for advice, not a job. You risk turning off potential contacts if you hit them up outright, so seek their counsel instead. (If there’s an appropriate job, they will bring it up.) Draw them out about their business experience. Explain your skills, the kind of position you seek, and then solicit suggestions.

Be grateful. A thank you note to everyone who helps you is a must, whether it is handwritten or an e-mail. Keep contacts appraised of how their referrals pan out.

Offer to return the favor. Be generous with your contacts so there is give and take. Make introductions when you think it will benefit prospects, and let them know you want to reciprocate their kindness.

Create your own connectionships. Get together once a month with five or six people you respect to learn more about their work. Actively trade leads.

Be patient. Meeting someone once rarely leads to a job. Connecting requires time and effort to cultivate and nurture relationships.

If you’ve made it this far don’t STOP! Please Leave me a comment! Thank You