“I owe yous” are non-existent in the world of networking. Stop watching out for yourself and start looking out for your connections. It’s a long and lonely career life when you’re only focused on yourself. Don’t keep tally of who owes.

50/50 is not a winning proposition. A relationship does not need to be entirely mutual. There are going to be those you mentor and those that mentor you. Satisfaction should be found in helping others achieve their goals. When someone helps you out, don’t feel like you’re indebted. They did it out of the goodness of their hearts. Remember this kind gesture and “pay it forward”. If we all use our Connectionaire skills and help each other out, we’ll build a strong business empire simultaneously.

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Don’t treat people like a transaction. It’s just that simple. Turn off WIIFM (What’s in it for me) and turn on “what can I do for you”. By helping people and adding value to their life, their business, their connections, you build a rapport.

Be different, be engaging, ask people about their passion, ask them how you can help them with this.

“I would rather attempt something great and fail than attempt to do nothing and succeed.” – Robert Schuller

Relationships are everything- In the 21rst century Relationships are everything as a matter of fact all selling will be relational selling.

Customers and people are naturally suspicious and they have a right to be. People or customers consider the relationship to be more powerful then the product that you are selling. I hate to tell you this but your product or service is usually somewhere else. They don’t have to buy from you… They can buy right from your competitor or not buy at all. The only reason they are going to buy from you is because they know, like, and believe in you and feel what you are saying is true.

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In this tough economy, no one has to tell you how important it is to network. If you don’t know that, you are either independently wealthy and don’t ever need to work, or you’ve been hiding under a rock for the bulk of your career.

What a lot of people don’t recognize, until they are faced with a difficult situation, is that it pays to stay connected –particularly in good times, when you don’t feel the need as much to keep in touch. Staying networked on a regular basis will put you steps ahead of everyone else who has not remained connected when it comes time for a job search or getting the information or resources you need.

While most people are happy to help you by either taking time to meet with you or spend a few minutes to chat on the phone, their time is limited–and no one likes a fair-weather friend, acquaintance, or colleague. It is uncomfortable for both parties to become reconnected only when one person needs something from the other. This may work once, but it rarely works twice.

Aside from the obvious efforts to join industry associations or attend alumni events, there are some simple, yet highly effective, ways to stay connected and build stronger professional relationships.

Go to lunch.
It’s easy to get consumed at work or in your daily activities and just inhale a sandwich at your desk. However, by making a point to go to lunch at least once or twice a week with a friend or colleague who works at your firm or elsewhere, you can not only stay in touch, but you can also find out what’s happening with other people and other companies.

Give value first
This is best done unsolicited, but is just as important when someone asks you for help. Whether it is putting people in contact with a potential employer, client, partner, etc., or giving them information that could be useful for them, they will remember your generosity and return the favor. For example, by sending people information on an upcoming Connect Your Life event that they may not already be aware of, with a note attached (”I thought you might be interested in this.”), you remind them of your presence and demonstrate your willingness to help them. Once again, most people will be flattered that you thought of them.

Connect others.
By putting other people in touch and helping them to broaden their connectionships, you are helping them expand the realm of people that they can, in turn, put you in touch with. They will also remember the favor (magazine…lol) and return it one day.

Help others succeed.
If the saying goes, “It pays to know people in high places,” then help others attain these high places, so you can know these people.

If you go to Connect Your Life events on a monthly basis, people will start to come to you as a source of information. People will say, “Call Robbie–she knows everyone.” Or, “Call Chad, he always knows what people are up to.” When you’ve achieved and maintained this level of connection with others, your call to them will seem far less of an imposition than it might have if you hadn’t made these ongoing efforts to stay connected.

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So your going to a connecting function that you have never been to before (or maybe even one you have) determined to crack the connection code and start building priceless business relationships. Here are five proven strategies for making contact at connection events.

1. Go it alone. When attending connection functions, go by yourself or at least communicate to your carpool buddies that you should all fan out. Moving about an event solo encourages people to approach you and makes it easy to mingle and initiate conversations. It may be more comfortable to have a friend right there with you, but remember: you are there to grow your network, not hang with the people already in your network.

2. Study the tags. If name tags are pre-printed and on display at the registration table, scan the tags of the other attendees to see what opportunities await you. Here’s something, though I have not tried this myself, Rachel Wood, a top financial advisor in the Boston area who introduced herself to me after one of my CODE Crackers Networking seminars, does something pretty neato. If she spots a name tag on the registration table of someone she would like to meet, she asks the people manning the table if she can clip a note to their tag saying she would like to meet them. She swears by it.

3. Circle and scan. Before diving into the event, try circling the room and checking out the name tags for people or companies you definitely want to make contact with while there.

4. Look for people standing alone. These folks may be nervous, and your initiative will often endear you to them. Plus, one-on-one connecting is the best connecting.

5. Sit between people you do not know well. If the event is a sit-down affair, do not sit by a friend or business associate. You already know that person! Plan who you want to sit by, but wait until the last minute to actually sit down so you can keep making new contacts.

Share how you’ve stood out at a networking event in the comment box below.