BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER WATCH THIS VIDEO:

CRAP! I Think I’m Tiger Woods!

Tiger did it. He did it A LOT! So many women put him on Front Street that it wasn’t funny. If I would have been given the chance to get some money I would have went on Access Hollywood myself and took some shots! Truthfully in all seriousness Tiger was in trouble way before that faithful Thanksgiving night in 2009 and I could tell what the problem was immediately…he lost his accountability. He lost his way. In 2006 Tiger lost his accountability partner, his father, Earl Woods. The next thing you know Tiger was having his own personal FreekNiK with all sorts of women.

While everyone was busy judging Mr. Woods, I had to step back and look at myself. I too can be Tiger Woods. I AM TIGER WOODS! You are too! No, there aren’t Perkins waitresses and Las Vegas party promoters in my bedroom that causes me to be comparable. But I too have committed infidelity quite a bit…on my dreams, goals, and aspirations. Many times I’ve made a to-do-list only to step out on it with something else. (Don’t judge me, you too have committed Success Adultery!) My lack of accountability started to close in on me and my future success came at me swinging a Titleist 9 Iron! When the medics arrived it was quite a wake-up call.

My dreams, goals, and aspirations are Elin Woods and I needed to find a “Sex Rehab” so to speak. So I found what is called an Accountability Partner. Accountability Partners are so important because they don’t let you resort back to the old you. You don’t need someone who is there to just keep you in check and be someone that you tell your biggest and darkest secrets to. You need someone who is always going to be encouraging you to be better and reach the goals that you set for yourself.

I Need One of These

How the heck do I find an Accountability Partner? I’m glad you asked. Finding someone to keep you accountable is as important as marrying the right spouse. The chemistry can either be as magical as Puffy and Ma$e or Cliff & Claire Huxtable or as toxic as Terrell Owens and any team that he has played for since he left the 49ers.

I’m going to let you in on my “Accountability Partner” world. My AP is Shanel Cooper Sykes, a successful New Yorker that is relentless in her pursuit to make me better. It’s not always sexy. It doesn’t always look like Paula Patton in a gorgeous red carpet gown. Sometimes it can be downright Mo’Nique in “Precious” (okay a little extreme but you get the point.) Sometimes necessary outweighs sexy and it’s for the BEST. My AP is important to my success and my growth. I call her my Success Wife! She makes me take out the garbage, do chores, and talks to me while the game is on (read: keeps me focused.) Here’s how:

• Having an AP in Shanel Cooper Sykes has been amazing because before I even had an idea to write my book she already finished hers. She had already took the time and went through the whole process so that helped me with making less errors because she had already done it. She also had been successful at selling thousands of copies online. She sold a lot of copies so that let me know that it was possible to do.
• My Success Wife kept me focused on finishing the book because I am a idea-holic at times. I am an aries (don’t know if that matters) and when I get an inspired thought or Aha! moment, I will instantly move on to the next new project and not spend as many hours being patient so I can let the first idea come to fruition. Many times I said “what about if I open a chain of barber shops or start doing my “Connect Your Life” events” and she would say STOP! Promote your book now Rob now that youre finished. Put a link in your status updates that lets people buy. Do a teleseminar etc…
• My AP is always there to let me know when I’m going against the image or brand that I’m portraying. Many times she’s corrected me when I’m posting things on a break up or a meaningless quote or song and she will say “Rob, what are you doing!” Post something about your Book! People don’t care about what you just ate. Give them value! Let them know why Connecting is important. Many times she has went as far as posting things on actual post that say “Rob! You just don’t get it! Smh!” and this is open for all my friends and fans to see! You need someone who is bold like that who will pimp slap you to Success and embarress you if they have to!
• “What are you doing” WW_D? Knowing who you want to model is key. What keeps Shanel focused on her empire is always thinking What Would Oprah Do? Before she posts any statement she clearly thinks about it. That keeps her brand tight. Finding someone you look up to and studying their post and seeing what they do to grow their success will help you immensely when building your brand online and in person.
• She keeps me humble. All my social media friends can be telling me how much of a great job I’m doing but she will make me look at reality and say “so how much have you made off of people “liking” your status updates? Her job isn’t to make me feel good… It’s to make me rich and by giving me the honest truth day in and day out whether I like it or not is definitely rare. .
• My AP never lets me get comfortable with present or past successes…. A quote I always remember is “fame is a vapor, popularity an accident.” John Hagee, a famous TV pastor says, “Success brings stagnation, and with stagnation comes death.” Always be in creation mode.
• Choosing an AP for each field in your life where you need improvement will also help you on your journey. The only thing that seperates me from most people is knowing that I don’t know everything and I can’t do it all myself. I have AP’s in speaking, in writing, in fitness, and spiritual. Every single one of them are are better than me in their chosen field of expertise. Every single one! Lets take speaking for example. Now that I’m finished with my book the way to get it out to more people is to share it in person. For that I will have to start tailoring powerful messages. Now the reality is I haven’t done public speaking for months but now that I have a powerful publicist I have to have a polished speech. For that I called my friends Shaun Derik, Javier Sanchez and Chris Davis. These individuals have been speaking full time for several years. Why not call them and get their expertise and get the best possible plan in the shortest amount of time so I can kill the speaking game! I borrow their experiences and they give me secrets so I don’t have to waste time making mistakes on my own.
• Pick up your phone and answer your emails. At times when I get off course I don’t want to speak to my AP’s because I know I’m not doing what I should do but that doesn’t do anything but slow me down. Running or hiding from a situation doesn’t help you. Be up front and take your whoopon like a man! In the end you will thank them greatly for it!
• Having someone keep you straight and on pace is a big deal! It’s a big deal for both parties. It’s the person that is keeping you on pace with your small goals so that when you look up a year from now and see how much farther you’ve gone it will blow your mind.
•  It’s easy to say what you’re going to do. It’s easy to write them down on paper or put them in the notes section of your “Droid, iPhone, or Blackberry; it’s another thing to look your AP in the face and try to explain why you didn’t get it done but you really had no excuse that is worthy enough. That’s what Tiger had to feel like while telling Elin why he couldn’t get those vows done. I’m done cheating on my dreams, goals, and aspirations. That is the feeling my Accountability Partner helps me avoid every time we meet.

My advice to you is to get one…NOW!

If you have an accountability partner, how do you make sure that you both get the most from the relationship?

Please Leave a Comment and Let me know you’re alive!!

This year, I’m going to do this, this year I’m going to do that, this year I’m going to make some real money!  Blah, Blah, Blah! That’s how it starts. Every year, you resolve to be different. The problem with resolutions though, is that they are tradition and command no real commitment!! They are often misdirected & they seldom involve any change of the one  important thing… and that’s YOU!!

 Now there’s nothing wrong with making resolutions but we must remember we have to create an action plan that will make your resolve stronger. I don’t understand how people think just by going into a new year that everything will change when they still have the same tired, broke busted and disgusted mentality! Here are  3  resolutions to remember in 2010 that will help you achieve the goals that most people only dream about.

Resolution 1: I WILL “be” the change that I seek

You want the change that Obama promised you? The truth is that you have to create it. And that begins with changing your frame of mind. Everything visible manifests first in the invisible. The intangible makes the tangible.

 Resolution 2: I WILL “stop” treating people like transactions

 The worst thing you can do is to treat people like transactions. Do you ever wonder why people don’t seem to respond to your phone calls or emails? Most likely it’s because you only contact them when you need something. No one wants to be a part of a single sided relationship.

 Resolution 3: I WILL “give” value first

 Make it a point to help someone else! But here’s the kicker…don’t ask for anything in return. Think I’m crazy? There is something called the law of reciprocation that begins to work in your favor. Having a mindset like this will help you gain valuable allies that are the key to your success.

 Ok so now that you have the mindset covered, we can work on building your network!

 5 Secrets to building a Spartans type network

1.      Be a Friend- Jeffrey Gitomer says it best in his quote “All things being created equal people want to do business with their friends.” Instead of buiding more customers build more friends and watch your business sky rocket!

2.      Be Strategic- Do your research and create a plan. Find out things like what they are passionate about and give them ideas, resources you’re your connections if it will help them fulfill it.

3.      Be Patient- Wise people know that it takes time to establish trust. You have to be honest and consistent for a while… sometimes 6 months or even a year to get most influential people to trust you.

4.      Add Value First- Find ways to solve problems for people in your network. Be the problem solver and overtime you will become a connection that your colleagues can’t afford not to know.

5.      Follow up- The fortune is in the follow up. Be consistent and focus on building a long lasting friendship and overtime you will reap big rewards.

 Three Advantages of Building Your Network Like this:

• Private Information- this is key in most business transactions. Having a connection on the inside can only help you get to your goal faster.
• Access to Diverse Skill Sets- People you network with can bring a variety of         knowledge and information to the table. It’s like a Thanksgiving buffet of information!
• Access to Power- The people you have access to will open doors you didn’t even know existed!

This blog is my present to you for 2010 to read this meditate on this for the rest of the year and really try to internalize this message! I guarantee you will thank me later.

Leave me a Comment and Let me know your ALIVE out there!

A lot of people will look at this headline and think I’m crazy for writing this. Well, you’re probably right, I am crazy. But my writing is a product of my experiences and I guarantee you that by the time you finish reading this blog you will certainly feel me.

 I try to make myself as transparent as I can for you all because I feel that it is more important that we connect on a real level instead of me coming off as some esoteric and illusive, super human being. I go through the same things that everyone else goes through; the only difference is that I’ve found a larger platform on which to channel it. And that’s by writing it down and sharing it with the world.

Growing up I had 4 other siblings and two very hard working parents, so they didn’t always have the time (or make the time) to take me to the barbershop. You should also know that when I was young I was not a very confident kid. I had acne and braces and wore second hand clothing. My mother would go to the thrift store to find old clothes that had brand labels and cut them out and put them on my Kmart jeans! My mother, bless her heart, had such wonderful intentions… lol! So with that culmination of circumstances against me, I felt that I at least I should be able to get a good haircut! Haircuts were so few and far between that my mother eventually took it upon herself to cut me and my little brother’s hair. Not so much the experienced barber, she gave us our edge ups the only way she knew how. Can you say “Chili bowl”?! She would take a small plastic bowl, place it on my head and cut around it! Go ahead and laugh, I know you probably are anyways, but this was a lot of stress on somebody that was just going through puberty. I decided to take a page from Tyler Perry, unbeknownst to him at the time, and adopted the philosophy “I can do bad all by myself” (he may owe me some royalties for that one). I took the clippers and tried to give myself a fade, but it was so bad I ended up just cutting it all off.  My next haircut = bald, next haircut = bald again! My first 10 to 20 attempts were pretty bad, but I soon would get better. Before long my brother let me practice my craft on his head, then my nephews, and then my best friends. By the time I got to high school I was really good. I was even cutting my teacher’s hair! By the time I was 15  I was running a pretty lucrative operation.

So what is the moral of the story? Every trial is an opportunity for advancement. Through what looked like a disadvantage, was instead able to create an advantage! I had discovered for myself a trade that I now could take anywhere and use to make myself a profit. I used cutting hair to propel myself through college and also as a jumping point that led to other opportunities that made me even more money. Being a barber was my first step to becoming a connectionaire. As a barber it was imperative that I was able to build trust and cement relationships. The majority of a barbers ability to create longevity stems from creating repeat business. And if you’re good they will come back atleast every two weeks. Over time when your clients really feel like they know you, they begin to place value in you and will give you access to information that they would only tell their best friends or those in their immediate circles!

 So what are the key points to take away from this story?

• Count Your Blessings- If something looks bleak in the present it doesn’t mean it’s going to stay like that. Usually, your misfortunes wind up being what makes you your fortune. Your charge is to analyze the negative and find the positive.
• Build Trust- Over time, being consistent and adding value first will pay off. Give people the opportunity to trust you and then once you have it, you will have access to information and opportunities that you may not have know existed.
• It’s a marathon- There is no such thing as overnight success. Anything that appears to have happened suddenly, most likely has taken 5-10 years to pay off.

 Little did I know that having to cut my own hair would save me thousands of dollars over the course of the last 14 years, and would lead to me making tens of thousands more. You see, lacking money makes you look to your remaining resources. This also explains why people at the “bottom” are “hungrier” and approach a project with more tenacity. When you are able to look at your disadvantages and turn them into your advantages, you truly realize the power of having no money!

If you have made it this far the least you can do is let me know that your alive and LEAVE A COMMENT!

Your visual presentation is important! In the initial stages of connecting the first thing that is observed is your wrapping. All of your talent, skills, etc are inside of the package. First impressions are how you get your foot in the door. The way that you look, speak and carry yourself really sticks with people. What are you presenting? What impressions are you making? 

John Molloy, the author of “Dress for Success, writes that 90% of how you present yourself is visual. Your appearance and demeanor communicate who you are, your level of self-assurance, and your ability to interact. 

The way that you present yourself determines whether people will be drawn to you or want to run from you. As much as I try my hardest not to judge people by how they present themselves, I do. We all do. It is very important to me because it tells me a little bit about the person. I tell myself if it’s not important for them to look like business people, I’m not certain that they’ll take my business seriously. Make sure that you know your stuff if you make the mistake of not dressing like the great person that you are. When you open your mouth, you should be so knowledgeable and articulate that they forget what you’re wearing.  

Zora Neal Hurston once described character saying, “He walked like he knew where he was going.” You must be confident and be aware of yourself, your target audience and your surroundings. Self-awareness is a must if you want to become an effective connector.

 Check me out on facebook and you can see even more pictures of me dressing to impress! LOL. Post a comment in the box below and let me know if you agree!

I know that it is all relative but if you if you want to get money, then dress like money, walk like money and talk like money! 

I’m dressed like a couple million bucks. How about you?

This is the story of Dick & Rick Hoyt, the most inspirational father and son team to race in an Ironman. 

True Story …

A son says to his father: ‘Dad, would you be willingly to run a marathon with me?’

The father, despite his age and a heart disease, says ‘YES’.

And they run that marathon, together.

The son asks: ‘Dad, can you run another marathon with me?’ Again father says ‘YES’.

One day the son asks his father: ‘Dad, would please do the Iron Man with me?’

Now just in case you wouldn’t know, ‘The Iron Man’ is the toughest triatlon in existance; 4km swimming, then 180 km by bike, and finaly another 42 km running, in one stroke

Again father says ‘YES’

Click on the link above and I know it will touch your heart.

The Reason I chose to post this  inspirational video today was because I want people who visit this blog even if its for 1 minute to be encouraged that you can do anything you put your mind to. They say the acronym for fear is finding reasons and excuses. How many of you today found a reason why you couldn’t do something? You don’t have to admit it. Just stop playing with IT!!! When I say ”IT” I mean your goals, dreams and purpose. We were all put here to solve a problem and we all get 86,400 seconds to do it each day. Are you spending your seconds to leave a legacy? Or are you just wasting time? Don’t let another day go by and you not do something to change somebody’s life.

If this article inspires you please be so kind and leave a comment. Thank you in advance.

I need to be honest with you. Rob Coats wasn’t always the so-called Connectionaire. At best, I was a “financiaholic” (dubbed by my intern).

At 21, like many college students, I wasn’t focused on getting a degree and getting a good paying job. I was focused on breaking the statistic of being a “broke college student”.

I started off with a talent I learned at 12 years old- cutting hair. It took, like anything, 3 years to build a clientele. I was making almost $150/day cutting hair. I had almost no expenses. A high-school connection led me into a direct-sales marketing phenomena. I went from earning great money cutting hair to an impressive $5,000/month while still remaining on Wright State’s dean list.

One day, while talking to my professor about my businesses, he asked what I was doing still in school. He pointed out: “You are one of those people that will be successful with or without college.”

His affirmation of what I had already been thinking led me to my decision. I finished out that semester, and withdrew from the University. Now that my attention was solely on direct-sales, my income increased, some months topping $15,000. By 23 I was making well over 6 figures.

The chase for money cost me many relationships; life-long friends and family. Like many business ventures, the company downsized and my paycheck soon followed. Now I was out an elaborate lifestyle, and a support system.

I moved back into “the low-level suite” (my parent’s basement), and took 6-8 months to focus on the internal rather than the external: I reflected, read, and studied. I needed to overcome this defeat, as well as better prepare myself for life’s next hurdle. This time, I was going to be prepared. And, I was going to chase after my passion, not my paycheck.

My next attempt was in Real Estate. Although I had been conquered before, I did not give up on my passion for self-employment. Through real estate I built connectionships/relationships with many people and re-sparked my love of connecting. I began things like philanthropy projects that were of no monetary benefit, but more importantly, helped others in need.

Realizing that not everyone shares the people-skills I have, I began nationwide networking events to teach/train people how to affectively connect and build life-long relationships, as opposed to short-transactional relationships. I’ve even authored a book, Connect and Grow Rich, out December 1, that is a how-to guide on growing wealth by connecting, both in person and online.

Check me out on facebook and let me know what you think of my story by posting a comment in the box below.

“It’s not what you know or who you know but who you will ask.” – Rob Coats
Getting help from people is one of the main reasons for establishing a large network but if you never take the time to tap into your network you will waste a heck of a lot of time.

For most people, asking for help isn’t an easy thing and it’s because in life usually at a very early age we’ve asked for something and were either scolded or hurt in a big way as a result and that experience has shaped our current reality. I’ve read that most people do things for 2 reasons in life: to avoid pain and/or to gain pleasure.  Most people would rather suffer than actually take the chance and get help to fix the problem. I will do my best at helping you over this hurdle in your life.

Most people don’t like asking for help when networking because it makes them feel vulnerable and they feel that they will either owe the person or the person will hold it over there head forever.

I recently read a blog post by Dr.Deb (a psychologist that specializes in trauma and depression) who was interviewed for The Tyra Banks Show on How To Ask For Help.

This is what she listed as being some of the most common myths that  hold people back from Asking today.

Myth: It makes us look vulnerable.

Truth: Asking for help creates an atmosphere of empowerment. It communicates to others that, while you may not have the answers, you are willing to find them and make things better.

Myth: Holding things in and keeping personal issues under wraps keeps us secure.

Lastly rember these 3 things when asking for help;
1. What type of help you need- Be specific. Let people know exactly what it is you want so they can know how to assist you.
2. Why you need it
3. When you need it

When you practice these simple truths you are much more likely to get help when asking then to not get it at all.

Please leave comments so I know that your alive.

In the 21st industry, it seems like everyone has NADD (Networking attention deficit disorder). You have less than ten seconds to gain a person’s attention. So, from the start you have to know how to differentiate yourself from the rest, get noticed, and most importantly BE MEMORABLE!

It doesn’t matter if that person is a star or if that person’s an everyday acquaintance. In the above video, Bentley shows how he made himself noticed by P.Diddy, who has an entire show about how to work for him. Bentley did it on his own. This is very valuable information.Take 5 min., watch it, soak it up, learn how to have the most influential people in the world knocking on your door.

Share your personal story on gaining notoriety in the comment box below..

“I owe yous” are non-existent in the world of networking. Stop watching out for yourself and start looking out for your connections. It’s a long and lonely career life when you’re only focused on yourself. Don’t keep tally of who owes.

50/50 is not a winning proposition. A relationship does not need to be entirely mutual. There are going to be those you mentor and those that mentor you. Satisfaction should be found in helping others achieve their goals. When someone helps you out, don’t feel like you’re indebted. They did it out of the goodness of their hearts. Remember this kind gesture and “pay it forward”. If we all use our Connectionaire skills and help each other out, we’ll build a strong business empire simultaneously.

Take 2 seconds to comment in the box below to show me you’re out there.

Don’t treat people like a transaction. It’s just that simple. Turn off WIIFM (What’s in it for me) and turn on “what can I do for you”. By helping people and adding value to their life, their business, their connections, you build a rapport.

Be different, be engaging, ask people about their passion, ask them how you can help them with this.