The Power of Asking
November 18th, 2009
“It’s not what you know or who you know but who you will ask.” – Rob Coats
Getting help from people is one of the main reasons for establishing a large network but if you never take the time to tap into your network you will waste a heck of a lot of time.
For most people, asking for help isn’t an easy thing and it’s because in life usually at a very early age we’ve asked for something and were either scolded or hurt in a big way as a result and that experience has shaped our current reality. I’ve read that most people do things for 2 reasons in life: to avoid pain and/or to gain pleasure. Most people would rather suffer than actually take the chance and get help to fix the problem. I will do my best at helping you over this hurdle in your life.
Most people don’t like asking for help when networking because it makes them feel vulnerable and they feel that they will either owe the person or the person will hold it over there head forever.
I recently read a blog post by Dr.Deb (a psychologist that specializes in trauma and depression) who was interviewed for The Tyra Banks Show on How To Ask For Help.
This is what she listed as being some of the most common myths that hold people back from Asking today.
Myth: It makes us look vulnerable.
Truth: Asking for help creates an atmosphere of empowerment. It communicates to others that, while you may not have the answers, you are willing to find them and make things better.
Myth: Holding things in and keeping personal issues under wraps keeps us secure.
Lastly rember these 3 things when asking for help;
1. What type of help you need- Be specific. Let people know exactly what it is you want so they can know how to assist you.
2. Why you need it
3. When you need it
When you practice these simple truths you are much more likely to get help when asking then to not get it at all.
Please leave comments so I know that your alive.
Tags: Advice, Business Networking, Connectionaire, Entrepreneurs, Help, network marketing, Networking, Personal Development, Rob Coats, Success, Young Professionals
Categories: Building Relationships , Connecting , Connectionaire , Connector , How to get help from your network , How to win with your network: Ask , Networking , Relationship , Rob Coats , Success , The Power of Asking
I agree whole heartedly with this post. you will never get ahead in life if you are to proud or scared to simply ASK for help. Great encouragement Rob! Now let me ask you…do you know anyone getting married who needs a wedding planner? If so please have them contact me for a free consultation!
As always Rob… Your content matches the subject title and hits the nail on the head every time!
I dig this article. “A closed mouth dont get fed.”… A lot of people have to figure out where they are trying to go before they can figure out who can help them get there. Once they figure out the destination, they cant get lost with the directions from this article. Great read!
This is powerful! Asking people for help used to be a great fear of mine. I though it was embarrasing to ask for things I thought I should’ve already had. However I learned that relationships are about give and replace and its not a shame to ask, we all need help sometime
You couldn’t have said it any better. We work our entire lives building relationships only to feel like we don’t want to “bother” or “annoy” someone. If only we could remember that old addage “it’s better to give than receive” we’d be in good shape. Instead we rob people of the opportunity of sewing into our lives. When we try to do things completely on our own, we are being selfish. But I will say this…we still have to do our part. We cannot expect someone we are asking to help us to do it all for us. I apreciate the time you spend putting information out there for us all to chew on theought the day! Keep it up!
This is 100% accurate, you hit a home run with this… So many people (me included) put themselves in deep holes because they can’t let their ego or pride take a hit because they a too insecure to ask for help! This is a challenge me to chance the mindset of “I can do it myself”.
Thanks again for the knowledge!
In short, I concur. It’s not a method of practice, as much as it is a way of life.
This is great information! Having been on both sides of this coin many times, I’d also like to remind people not to forget to use two very simple words when asking – Thank You!
On that note, thank you for the blog entry!
GREAT post!! ASK, ASK, ASK!! Thanks Rob!