Don’t Keep Score
November 4th, 2009
“I owe yous” are non-existent in the world of networking. Stop watching out for yourself and start looking out for your connections. It’s a long and lonely career life when you’re only focused on yourself. Don’t keep tally of who owes.
50/50 is not a winning proposition. A relationship does not need to be entirely mutual. There are going to be those you mentor and those that mentor you. Satisfaction should be found in helping others achieve their goals. When someone helps you out, don’t feel like you’re indebted. They did it out of the goodness of their hearts. Remember this kind gesture and “pay it forward”. If we all use our Connectionaire skills and help each other out, we’ll build a strong business empire simultaneously.
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Tags: Advice, Business Networking, Connectionaire, Entrepreneurs, Help, network marketing, Networking, Personal Development, Rob Coats, Success, Young Professionals
Categories: Adds Value First , Building Relationships , Connectionaire , Don't Keep Score , Don't Treat People Like Transactions , Helping People , Rob Coats , Success
Rob- great article. When I quit worrying about equal give/take connectionships and began helping those I was able to and asking for help from those that could things started happening. YOU ARE THE BEST!!!
You bring out an excellent point. Relationships are diamonds that need to be mined, shaped and polished. Our focus should be more on how to best cultivate the relationship, instead of keeping score.
great article Rob, i’ve actually had problems with this in the past, feeling like if i’ve done something for someone they should be some kind of payback eventually lol. Have you ever ran into somebody who doesnt invest anything in anyone no matter who does for them? How do you feel about those people and what do you do in those situations?
Amen!
Rob- This is a GREAT article- such good advice! I used to be very hesitant to ask for help, as I didn’t always have anything to give in return. But I’ve learned, like you state in this post, that you don’t always have to keep track, you just have to “pay it forward”.
I LOVE THIS. Most people think you should always get something in return for any efforts and some think that is selfish. Do for out others out the goodness in your heart but know any energy we put in the universe, it will find its way back some way. I once heard a speaker say “be generous out of self interest” meaning what ever you put out, WILL come back; maybe not directly from that person or event, but it will….karma baby! give, donate, and pray for your enemy, and it will come back tenfold.
We are not deemed through our deeds so much as we are redeemed when we do not keep record of for who, with what, we did for the last person we did it for. My favorite auntie used to always tell me something when I was much younger any time I would get ready to ask her for something that I thought she was going to even entertain, I would first “remind” her of the last thing that I had done for her that I felt was equivalent and/or of equal value to what I was requesting… She used to say, “If you can remember the last thing you did for a person then obviously you are not doing enough. Oh & by the way, while you are “remember” make a mental note to “remember” not to do another thing for me!” lol For a long time I thought she was crazy, but I come to realize if we keep track of everything we did for one person in particular (just for measure), we would be too busy to do anything for anyone else period. By the time you get finished claiming, shaming, and maiming someone for failure to reimburse us for the things we felt they owed in return, it will be “just us” when “justice” throws the book…Trust “a bit and some change” never paid such a wealthy bounty. Giving God’s way of granting us the ability to assist Him in answering the countless prayer requests He gets on the hour by the hour.